Welcome

Mar. 27th, 2030 08:59 pm
rusty_halo: bowie: ziggy onstage flames (bowie: ziggy onstage flames)
This is a fandom journal containing mostly meta, squee, and recs.

Comments are wonderful. Feel free to add/remove me from your circle whenever you like.

I'm also on Tumblr.

I work too much these days and don't post as often as I'd like.

This journal is cross-posted at rusty-halo.com, InsaneJournal, and LiveJournal.
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Actual Sleep No More fanfiction! ♥ ♥ ♥

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

I wrote an emotionally revealing thing on Tumblr.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

“I once tried to explain to one of the Boy Witch performers (I won’t name names) just why I was so infatuated with his performance. I kept trying to convey that it was not his penis, but the Boy Witch EYES that I am drawn to— you know, the way Boy Witch sucks you in and seduces you with that sideways, under the floppy hair glance that says I own you and I know you want me and you WILL follow me. I mean, I was so earnest, but even mentioning the penis made me sound like an idiot. And a perv. But I really wanted to convey that it had nothing to do with the nudity. And the more I tried to explain it, the more embarrassing it became.”

(source)

OMG Sleep No More fandom.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

1:1 magic

Jul. 30th, 2013 10:42 pm
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But for the rest of the evening, and into the next day, and the day after, a small, perverse part of my subconscious is still thinking about that moment, about that dance, about that kiss, those parting words. I know it’s all an act, and I am one of many lucky people who will leave the show having experienced a spine-tingly one-on-one experience. I am not unique. But there’s still a piece of me that doesn’t want to let go of the few short minutes when The Drowned Man stopped being a spectacle to be watched, and instead became something I was part of. It lit up something inside me that’s left me feeling dreamy and open and weirdly, unexpectedly giddy.

– From raspberry beret girl

See, I’m not the only one!

In my least generous moments, I think Punchdrunk is pretty much evil for luring people in like this. (She says as she contemplates booking another ticket to London…)

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

London

Jun. 22nd, 2013 09:52 pm
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I miss you guys. I feel like this is the only place on the Internet that I can write my honest feelings.

It’s my last day before I leave London and I’m suddenly feeling so overwhelmed and sad.

I wrote on Tumblr about tonight’s show, that it was magical to me, and it was, but it’s like the evil inverse of a wonderful artistic experience is the awful comedown back to reality. Plus all this self-doubt and feeling like I’m stupid and my reactions are all wrong.

I can’t be anyone other than who I am. Obviously I’m biased; I came here to see performers who I already think are wonderful. And I honestly thought they were wonderful here. I felt so glad to see them.

In the end, I don’t know what I want out of this. It’s so much easier with music; I’ve never wondered what the point is with music. But then I’ve never spent thousands of dollars to fly across the ocean for music.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

London!

Jun. 21st, 2013 07:46 pm
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I’m blogging my Drowned Man adventures on my Tumblr btw.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

Lucky #27

Mar. 31st, 2013 11:51 pm
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My “edited for Tumblr” version of last night’s Sleep No More recap.

This one made me so happy and might be the last really special one.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

Sorry just one more SNM thing.

It struck me last night, and never really hit me before – the moments Macbeth and Lady Macbeth see the audience. I’ve followed Lady Macbeth a few times recently (Tori Sparks twice right before she left, and Omagbitse Omagbemi Friday night) and then three-looped Macbeth last night, so the parallels between them were fresh in my mind.

For the first half of their loop, the Macbeths are completely oblivious to the audience. They don’t see or interact with us at all.

It starts when Macbeth kills Duncan. As he runs back to the Macbeth bedroom with the blood on his hands, he stops under a light and turns around and the audience sees the blood on his hands. But he’s not doing this just to show his hands to the audience. He looks at us. For the first time, he sees us. Like we are these lurking supernatural creatures, visible to him now because of the horror he’s committed.

Then after Lady Macbeth bathes him, they both huddle on the bed, and for a moment they both seem to see us. They look at us with a kind of vague horror, like they can suddenly see the wisps of us appearing out of the ether around them.

It’s like by committing the murder, they are corrupted, evil, and now they can see us. We are ghosts, spirits, supernatural creatures. The sane characters can’t see us – the only other characters who see us are the supernatural ones (the witches, Hecate, and Hecate’s thrall the Speakeasy Barman).

I think it’s also a sign of their increasing insanity.

Then:

Macbeth runs upstairs to the rave, stops at the top of the fourth floor to put his socks and shoes on, stands up, and then has this moment where he looks at the audience. He can see us clearly, and is suspicious and horrified and kind of ecstatically crazed by our appearance. He sees us during the rave, too – we’re in a circle around the witches and Macbeth doing their prophecy/orgy, like we are these ethereal ghosts coming out of the same spaces from which the witches themselves emerge.

Meanwhile Lady Macbeth stays on the bed and does this writhing dance trying to get the blood off her hands, and she too can see us. When she walks up to the fourth floor to greet Macbeth after he finishes the rave and kills Banquo, she is now grabbing the audience members, clutching them, whispering lines from the play to them. She also sees us during her final walk up to the fifth floor insane asylum – the nurse strips her and puts her in the bath, and then she climbs out, naked and alone, and reaches out to us in a kind of insane broken daze.

It’s so freaking cool how this show is structured.

And it’s so ridiculous to read those reviews from people saying “This had nothing to do with Macbeth” or “This made no sense.” Nonsense. It’s transformative – it turns “Macbeth” inside out and interprets it through a very different medium, but it is so deeply engaged with the text.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

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I am mainly posting on Tumblr these days. Sigh.

I’ll still be on Dreamwidth/LJ/rusty-halo.com for the foreseeable future (friendslock is invaluable, and many of my good friends are here) but I’m also there.

If you have a Tumblr, let me know. I hate to lose track of people.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

On December 28, I had what was, in retrospect, one of the best Sleep No More shows I would ever have. And I posted a wishlist for future shows. Here is the original list, and the results.

Read more... )

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

My friend is looking for a web developer to convert her custom-written PHP site into WordPress or Drupal. She’s an independent fashion designer and very visually-oriented, so good frontend CSS/HTML skills are important. She has a portfolio site with a few products (hooking up to PayPal to check out) and wants to be able to update the content via CMS.

If you can help or know anyone who can help, please write to me at laura at rusty-halo dot com and I’ll send her your info. She’s very sweet and easy to work with. :)

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

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See I look at photos like this and I’m like “how is this a real place I was actually at and not just a dream”?

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

I hate everything that I write.

Like this. I was trying to figure out how to take the “I”s and “me”s out, but I couldn’t. I wanted to write about why Paul is amazing, not about the impact Paul had on me personally, which is irrelevant. But I couldn’t separate the two; everything became generic and weirdly removed when I took out the “I”s and “me”s.

But with them in, it’s like, god, so narcissistic and who fucking cares.

I was crying as I wrote the post – it’s trying to describe something that meant so much to me – but when I read it, the emotion isn’t there at all. I don’t understand. I feel these things so intensely, but I can’t communicate them at all.

I’m going to make a filter for my overly personal Sleep No More posts so I can stop spamming you guys. Please comment if you want to be on it. (I might still post the generic ones publicly, sorry.)

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

I get so emotionally invested in things where I am irrelevant and invisible.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been as emotionally invested in something going on in my own life as I get with fandoms.

I’ve tried making fandoms into my life, but that has never really worked. I am always on the outside, trying to be somewhere where there is no need for me to be.

I guess the alternative is to organically live life in a way that isn’t oriented around fandoms? So that I can emotionally engage with real things where I might have an actual role to play?

“Be yourself” and “follow your heart” has always led me to fandoms, though. Is that wrong?

I find it hard to believe I will somehow find an engaging life by forcing myself to do stuff I don’t want to do, because I’d rather be at home reading Loki fanfic or staring at Sleep No More actors from a balcony.

I should try doing something creative and social. Where there are straight men around. But what?

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

Some people talk about their Sleep No More visits being followed by an immediate crash. I don’t have that – I usually get about a week of euphoria afterward. The crash from last Monday is just hitting me now on Sunday night. I miss it there.

I realized my attendance count is off.

Last time I checked, I counted 13 cards and 13 entries in my order history at sleepnomorenyc.com, so I assumed I’d been 13 times, despite a mysterious mental count of 14.

But last night I remembered that one time I went in without a card, because I lost track of time drinking at Gallow Green and was rushed in late. (Nice lady just handed me a mask and sent me in without checking my ticket or anything.)

And one time I bought a ticket which wouldn’t show in my order history, because I got in on a waitlist to a special night (I think Remixed) and they asked for my credit card via email, which is dangerous, so I called and gave it to them over the phone.

So my mental count of 14 back then was right … which means I’ve been 17 times now.

And I already have 18, 19, 20, and 21 booked. :)

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

rusty-halo.com

I blog about fannish things. Busy with work so don't update often. Mirrored at rusty-halo.com.

September 2013

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