Sorry you're feeling so low! But fandom doesn't matter, honestly. What you saw on the series matters, if it matters to you, and I think it does. But fan factions don't matter, and the opinions of the actors (which seem to vary from one day to the next anyway) don't matter either.

What you saw on-screen, and how you felt about it, matters a lot. And that's all. don't let these people get you down.