Excellent post -- and I agree with you about the big problem being not the opinions themselves, but the way in which those opinions were expressed. Calm voices seem to sometimes get lost in the fire of those that are perhaps more emphatic than they should be due to the heat of the moment and those who try to deliberately provoke.

It comes down to individual stories; you can't judge every slash story just because you didn't like one (or ten, or whatever).

Absolutely. The slash stories I've read that I've like have been because they've been good stories, because the author made me believe that this was plausible.