I don't think he's ever comfortable with it, though, and I don't think it's his first choice.
No, definitely not his first choice; then again, it's definitely something he sees as a possible approach to a relationship. That's probably the bottom (Heh. She said bottom!) of it: being dominant isn't an unfamiliar idea (if only after having witnessed it for so long, re: Angelus), however, it's an *instrument*, not the underlying desire itself.
The examples you cite both came after he'd tried quite a few other options and found them unsuccessful, and so was trying to please the woman based on what he guessed she'd like/find effective. Like, begging and pleading for Dru to come back to him didn't work, so he finally decided to show her that he was still "evil enough" and to emulate Angel, the dominant one, who Dru really wanted.
Yes, I agree.
But he was shaping himself to please her, torturing her because it's what she wanted. Same with the Dead Things balcony scene: he'd tried sitting with her quietly, he'd tried listening and being supportive, he'd tried to get her to open up, he'd tried "we have to talk," he'd tried "if I can't have all of you, I'd rather--," etc. So he tried turning the tables, being dominant as Dru used to want, and as Buffy was treating him. But it wasn't his first choice, and it wasn't all that natural--it didn't really fit with his behavior before or after.
You're absolutely right, but to me, pressure and psychological violence are viable options to Spike-- or were, pre-soul, at least--, i.e. he didn't have to torture himself to do it as he could not see the ethical/moral wrong of such a behaviour (notwithstanding his love and more caring, tender side)...but of course, he was neither comfortable with nor very good at it.
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No, definitely not his first choice; then again, it's definitely something he sees as a possible approach to a relationship. That's probably the bottom (Heh. She said bottom!) of it: being dominant isn't an unfamiliar idea (if only after having witnessed it for so long, re: Angelus), however, it's an *instrument*, not the underlying desire itself.
The examples you cite both came after he'd tried quite a few other options and found them unsuccessful, and so was trying to please the woman based on what he guessed she'd like/find effective. Like, begging and pleading for Dru to come back to him didn't work, so he finally decided to show her that he was still "evil enough" and to emulate Angel, the dominant one, who Dru really wanted.
Yes, I agree.
But he was shaping himself to please her, torturing her because it's what she wanted. Same with the Dead Things balcony scene: he'd tried sitting with her quietly, he'd tried listening and being supportive, he'd tried to get her to open up, he'd tried "we have to talk," he'd tried "if I can't have all of you, I'd rather--," etc. So he tried turning the tables, being dominant as Dru used to want, and as Buffy was treating him. But it wasn't his first choice, and it wasn't all that natural--it didn't really fit with his behavior before or after.
You're absolutely right, but to me, pressure and psychological violence are viable options to Spike-- or were, pre-soul, at least--, i.e. he didn't have to torture himself to do it as he could not see the ethical/moral wrong of such a behaviour (notwithstanding his love and more caring, tender side)...but of course, he was neither comfortable with nor very good at it.