It's just that I know that JM did something which engaged me. He did something that entertained me. Now, where that ended up wasn't his fault. And, also, he wasn't Spike. Yeah, he's a goof... and he always was. That's not a crime. That's just reality (and my experience with every fangirlish crush. The guys behind those characters are just guys... and that's okay.) But he did something which engaged me and made me think. By all accounts he's a reasonably nice guy (albeit with regrettable fashion sense, his own dorky flaws, and often with his foot in his mouth. But, he's just a guy after all and that really doesn't bother me. He wasn't an icon -- just a goofy guy who could turn something on screen (even in scripts that were crap) into something charismatic, funny, or heartbreaking. He did engage my emotions in his character because I have a mountain of posts showing that I was engaged and involved. I respect that even if it's a fading memory now.) So I really tend to just look back with affection that his work (if not on the Buffy fandom which in general was kind of hellish). But he embued his character with stuff that made me care. It did. That's not an embarrassment. That's someone who did something that attracted my attention, made me think, made me examine my own ideas, and made me care. I have affection for him for that and see no reason to bash him now because he's just a guy and not the character. He isn't an idol or an ex-boyfriend who I feel rejected me. He was just a guy who embued a character with a great presence. I appreciate that. That's enough. And I'm okay with that.