I guess I tend to approach fandoms through the perspective of a single character. I saw BtVS through Spike's POV, and I see DW through the Tenth Doctor's. So while I can see how he was thoughtless toward those other characters, I can't really bring myself to care. :P
I actually don't think he was ever particularly callous to Rose or Martha. He was thoughtless and oblivious sometimes, but so were they to him (like Rose dragging along a string of boyfriends in S1 or Martha completely dismissing that he was in mourning and resenting that he didn't immediately fall for her). And he did give them the opportunity to travel through time and space, which IMO pretty much makes up for the occasional bit of rude behavior. I also don't think Ten is any worse than Nine (I just re-watched the scene where Nine refuses to have tea with Rose and Jackie, and that was pretty damn rude.)
OTOH, I'll agree that he was callous toward Jack. But it makes sense to me emotionally; Ten always runs away from difficult emotional situations, as if by ignoring them he won't ever have to deal with them. It's not healthy, but it's understandable; it's one of those flaws that just makes me love him more. (Probably because it's an exaggerated version of something I tend to do, too.)
As for the Family, well, it's not like they didn't earn it. I'd agree that an ideal benevolent godlike figure wouldn't have taken such harsh revenge, but if the Doctor was perfect the show would be boring. What he did was in response to emotional devastation that they'd inflicted on him. I would have done the same thing if I had that kind of power; it's not "right" but to me it's sympathetic and understandable.
what is this whole concept that the Doctor needs to obey some ST:TNG version of the Prime Directive at all? A non-interference policy never has been part of this show; actually quite the opposite
Yeah, the show would be pretty boring if the Doctor never did anything!
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I actually don't think he was ever particularly callous to Rose or Martha. He was thoughtless and oblivious sometimes, but so were they to him (like Rose dragging along a string of boyfriends in S1 or Martha completely dismissing that he was in mourning and resenting that he didn't immediately fall for her). And he did give them the opportunity to travel through time and space, which IMO pretty much makes up for the occasional bit of rude behavior. I also don't think Ten is any worse than Nine (I just re-watched the scene where Nine refuses to have tea with Rose and Jackie, and that was pretty damn rude.)
OTOH, I'll agree that he was callous toward Jack. But it makes sense to me emotionally; Ten always runs away from difficult emotional situations, as if by ignoring them he won't ever have to deal with them. It's not healthy, but it's understandable; it's one of those flaws that just makes me love him more. (Probably because it's an exaggerated version of something I tend to do, too.)
As for the Family, well, it's not like they didn't earn it. I'd agree that an ideal benevolent godlike figure wouldn't have taken such harsh revenge, but if the Doctor was perfect the show would be boring. What he did was in response to emotional devastation that they'd inflicted on him. I would have done the same thing if I had that kind of power; it's not "right" but to me it's sympathetic and understandable.
what is this whole concept that the Doctor needs to obey some ST:TNG version of the Prime Directive at all? A non-interference policy never has been part of this show; actually quite the opposite
Yeah, the show would be pretty boring if the Doctor never did anything!