rusty_halo | (no subject)

Current Mood: annoyed

Entry tags:

fanfic,
ranty

(no subject)

The following word should be banned from fanfic forever: ministrations.

That's all.

(Seriously, it's a useless word. Has anyone used it well, in any context, ever?)

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Oh, I think it's a useful word, when used correctly. Like in the Wycliffite Bible, for instance:

(1384): 2 Cor. (Douce 369(2)) iii. 7-8 If the mynistracioun of deeth defformyd by lettris in stoones was in glorie..hou not more the mynistracioun of spirit schal be in glorie?

That's the earliest noted usage in the OED.

But when it's used in a sexual sense, instead of a pastoral sense, which is the most common correct usage, it's pretty gross, I'll admit.

Sorry. Never ask a language nerd. :)

Ehhh... maybe.

I suspect it's never been used well in fanfic, though.

In fanfic, it's usually a sign of the purplest of prose. Often in conjunction with sexy scenes, which is just all kinds of no.

I "read" (or skimmed and closed quickly) about 45 Sharpe fics today. Of those, about 30 got closed almost instantly, with a laugh or a shudder of horror.

About 10 got skimmed, regarded as vaguely interesting, but soon went over the top and also got closed.

About 5 were good enough to actually read, but of those five, TWO were completely ruined by the author's use of the word "ministrations." Seriously, WHO DOES THAT? And these were the "better" fics, the ones I'd actually been reading instead of skimming.

(And about two fics were actual good stories that I enjoyed reading. Which further supports my theory that 90% of everything is crap.)

Oh, God, loathe that word so much!

And 'elicited'. Who uses that? Seriously? It makes me whimper.

Ninety percent of fanfiction is crap. Five percent feedback on a given story is the absolute best any author can expect. These stats seem to hold true over all fandoms. We should probably think up a name for them: the Golden Means, or something.

I'm thinking I might have used 'ministrations' in Lost in You. Hey - it was years ago! *hangs head in shame*

I won't do it again. Promise.

LOL.

Oh, and skimming the other comments, I think I use 'elicited' too. But possibly not in a sex scene. However, I've certainly used 'elicited' in RL conversations. Never heard that one as a pet peeve before.

Seriously? It makes me whimper.

Ah, but does it elicit a whimper from you? ;)

This is me giving you a stern look here.

:-)

It usually sticks out like a sore thumb as a nice big word the author thought would be cool to use.

It's possible I'm being unreasonable here :-)

LOL.

Isn't that word a carryover from bad romance novels? It's much like "quirk" and "seething core," not to mention "throbbing manroot." I figure anyone who uses any of those words or phrases has just read (and is regurgitating) too many bodice-rippers. Then of course I immediately lose respect for them. Oh, and stop reading their stupid fanfic.

Like writhing in passion? I'm pretty crap with spelling, but for shit's sake there's a thesaurus.

Yes. OMG. Yes.

Ugh, I know what you mean.

Though at least "elicit" has legitimate uses outside of sex scenes. "Ministrations" just sucks everywhere.

They're both so... self-conscious, somehow :;pulls a face::

LOL, you're forgiven. ;)

I think maybe it's a sign of an author being new to writing sex scenes. It's just one of those words that kind of gets grandfathered in, because mediocre sex scenes have been using it for years. But once you discover really high quality sex scenes, "ministrations" becomes unacceptable.

I use that word in RL. But I'm weird so...

(love your icon)

No, not weird! I think it's just my issue, don't worry; I have them in abundance :-)

snafflebitink made it. I just enjoy it.

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