Torchwood 1x06 - In which I am permanantly traumatized by the image of Gwen and Owen having sex

[rusty_halo]

Oh yay, more Torchwood. Six episodes in means I'm almost halfway through! Still not sure why I'm putting myself through a show that I can't stand, but, well, 1) it's related to Doctor Who, 2) it's so bad it's funny, and 3) Ianto is cute.

* I really do wonder what these writers are thinking when it comes to Owen. Were they purposely trying to create a character who is completely negative, mean-spirited, bullying, and dull, or did it just happen by accident? You'd think they must've been intending "charming asshole," except they completely left out the charming part. No wit or humor, just spite and grump.

* And every time the Torchwood crew complains about something, I just roll my eyes. Because again, they are not The One Girl In All the Universe Who Can Slay the Vampires. This is just a job, and if they don't like it, they can always quit. Shouldn't we be seeing some kind of explanation for why they stick around? Some kind of joy or thrill of discovery? Something other than a bunch of miserable people bitching about everything that happens, when they know perfectly well that they could always just quit?

* Ahahaha they are such a bunch of horny teenagers. "Who's the last person you kissed?"??? This is the stuff that girls gossip about at slumber parties, not supposedly badass secret agents on a mission! Jack, you run the most unprofessional team in the universe.

* Well, at least Ianto remembers that his coworkers murdered his girlfriend two episodes ago. Funny how he forgot last week.

* It's really depressing how much none of these people seem to like each other at all.

* Oh, god, that was gross. Gwen, Owen's lips just touched your FACE!

* Bloody carcass crawling with maggots--FAR less disturbing than Owen slobbering all over Gwen.

* Owen LEFT THE KEYS IN THE CAR!? Jack, this is YOUR FAULT for hiring these fools! I'll have to remember to have a poll when I finish the season to vote which of the team is the most criminally incompetent.

* Ah, Ianto and Tosh. I think "Don't split up" is rule number one when investigating a strange house full of scary screaming noises.

* Owen is the least reassuring doctor ever. Also, I suppose it wouldn't be Torchwood if they couldn't banter about sex even while performing/experiencing emergency surgery.

* They barricaded themselves in but forgot to check the cellar. I swear to god, a team of eight year olds would be far more competent than Torchwood.

* Yes, Tosh, tell the strange untrustworthy woman exactly how many of you there are. (Dear Mr. Chibnall: good writers know how to have characters make mistakes and end up in dangerous situations without necessarily having them make stupid mistakes that cause the audience to lose all respect for them. Hint: if a teenager who has seen more than one horror movie would know better than to do something, it's probably not a good idea to have your badass secret agents do it.)

* Gotta love Jack the torturer. Harkness and Bauer should get together and have brunch. I'm sure the Doctor would be so pleased at the way Jack's "rebuilt Torchwood in his honor." *eyeroll*

* "We're all just meat." Part of the same existentialism-inspired-villainy that leads to characters like Captain John?

* Two badass secret agents against two average (if cannibalistic) humans, and you know the secret agents don't have half a chance.

* TOSH, DON'T HIDE BEHIND A TREE, RUN!

* GWEN, YOU IDIOT, JUST SHOOT HIM. What possible good could PUTTING YOUR GUN DOWN do for you? If I was the bad guy I'd have immediately shot them all as soon as she lowered her weapon. (But of course she just can't get enough of Owen to risk his precious precious life. *gags*)

* Whoever wrote this has some serious issues with rural culture.

* Man, what would these people do without Jack? Maybe he hired them all because he enjoys the thrill of rescuing a group of incompetents from themselves.

* What the hell does Gwen think she's going to figure out in an hour? Go read a psychological study of a serial killer; the bookstores are crawling with those things.

* Um, Gwen, if your old life was so much better, JUST GO BACK TO IT.

* Ewwww ewwww ewwww GWEN AND OWEN my brain is completely traumatized. I like that it took blood and maggots and cannibals and getting shot and a close look at the deepest horrors in the human psyche to get Gwen to the point of fucking Owen, though. I mean, if anything would lower you that far, I guess it would have to be pretty awful.

* Conclusion: they did a good job of telling a typical adrenaline-rush scary story, but it was undercut by how completely stupid the characters were.

This is the darkest we've seen Jack so far, which I guess is kind of interesting, but... oh, Barrowman's just not enough of an actor to make it actually interesting, and I don't trust the writers to explore it in any kind of thoughtful way. I think we were just supposed to be cheering when Jack barged in with guns blazing.

Finally, I will never forgive this show for making me see Owen in a sexual situation. Repeatedly. Oh Gwen, you really are sinking into the Torchwood muck.

[Cross-posted to InsaneJournal]

Comments

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna come out from hiding:

Hi. I'm Lisa, and I like Owen :D

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

It's okay. We all have our dark, disturbing fetishes. (But... Owen??? *shudders*)

I'm genuinely curious: what do you like about him?

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I think that he has deep-seated insecurities, which predicate many of his choices. To me, that gives him a vulnerability that I appreciate.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

I see that. It makes me pity him sometimes, but it doesn't make me like him.

(I've still got seven episodes to go, though, so uh... hey... you never know... maybe he'll magically grab my interest later on.)

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

Stick with Quark - he has more charm, and he's prettier!

[mylittleburden.livejournal.com]

i kind of like him too.
a friend and i made a list of the character, in order of how we liked them, and we came up with:
Ianto and Jack
Owen and Tosh
PC Andy
Rhys
Myfanwy
Weevils
Bilis



and Gwen all the way down here.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Awww, poor Gwen. Admittedly she loses points for fucking Owen, but I think Owen loses more points for being Owen.

[mylittleburden.livejournal.com]

my justification for liking him is that he can't help it, while gwen had the choice.

[jaydk.livejournal.com]

I actually remember this as one of the better Torchwood episodes (on the scale of lousy to tolerable, of course). I thought they did a good job on creating a horror movie atmosphere, and the dumb mistakes of the team didn't bother me too much because the protags in horror movies always make dumb mistakes. And I confess, I loved Jack crashing in and saving his dumb team. I like that Jack's big traditional out-sized heroic moments.

The one thing about the episode that truly annoyed me was Gwen's whole "I want to talk to the cannibal! I want to understand him!" nonsense. I mean, what's to understand? He's freakin' nuts. He's a cannibal. There is no sense to be made. Gwen sleeping with Owen was distasteful and inexplicable (anyone wanting to sleep with Owen is inexplicable IMO, given his personality), but the whole desire to understand the cannibal? Was just annoying. Given that HE WAS A CANNIBAL.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

You're on LJ! Post about Torchwood! Post about Martha!

And, LOL at you defending Torchwood. I guess they did a good job at creating a horror movie atmosphere, but usually part of the fun of a horror movie is watching all the stupid bumbling people get killed. I feel incredibly cheated that I didn't get to see a single member of the Torchwood team hacked apart by cannibals.

[jaydk.livejournal.com]

They did all deserve to be, true -- except for Jack. Seriously, whatta bunch a losers they were in this one. But still, it did give that horror movie atmosphere -- they accomplished something with the episode. It's more than their episodes usually do for most of season one.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Jack's whole "I will solve problems with guns and torture!" thing just annoys me. I like how the Doctor solves problems with brains and compassion.

[jaydk.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get that, and Jack's tendency to go for the gun first thing is a little disturbing -- I really liked that they made a point of the Doctor refusing to let Jack shoot anyone in Utopia. However, in this particular case, it worked for me because by that point in the story, I really wanted those cannibals shot but good ;-). Which I guess means they were pretty good villains, overall. OMG, more Torchwood praise!

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

OMG, more Torchwood praise!

Yikes! Who are you and what have you done with jaydk?!

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

Finally, I will never forgive this show for making me see Owen in a sexual situation. Repeatedly.

Just wait.

For some inexplicable reason the Torchwood writers think Burn Gorman is some hot piece of smoldering macho man-meat. I mean, really. As someone on my flist said last year, he has frog lips! Eww. Plus his character is really unpleasant.

As for Gwen, her actions confound me. Also, Eve Myles reminds me of '80s Aussie pop sex kitten Christina Amphlett, which is distracting as I keep expecting her to burst into "I Touch Myself."

However, like you I continue to watch despite my reservations about the whole thing, but I think I'm more kindly disposed toward it than you. It is cheese deluxe.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Burn Gorman is some hot piece of smoldering macho man-meat

*scrubs brain*

*scrubs brain more*

*ACK GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN!!*

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

I really liked Gwen until she.... ewwwwwwwwww, I don't want to think about it.

Yuck, you made me think about it again.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Sorry!

*scrubs brain along with you*

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

I want Owen GONEGONEGONE. No creepy rapists in my fantasies, thanks.

Not to mention, I can't imagine any of the (relatively hot) women from Torchwood fucking him, since he is so freaky-looking, with that clammy-looking skin and the little frog slit of a mouth. ::shudders::

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

I seriously saw someone arguing the other day that Owen's sex spray isn't rape. She said it's not any different from going to the gym and showing off how hot you are; that the effect is the same because it causes someone to be extremely attracted to you.

And I just... can't even wrap my head around someone thinking that. What Owen did is RAPE, pure and simple. It's something that takes away your consent and your ability to choose, and fucks with your mind so that you think you actually *want* it. It's so utterly revolting that I can't even stand it.

Which, yeah. It would be just as wrong if Owen was attractive, but it's even grosser just because he's so completely hideous that NO ONE in their right mind would actually *want* to sleep with him. Imagine the identity crisis that would ensue when you wake up and find THAT in your bed.

(And it really creeps me out that I don't think the Torchwood writers have any clue how disturbing what they've written is.)

[shakatany.livejournal.com]

Waves hi.

This was actually my favorite ep of S1. It was pretty scary and gruesome and for a while one didn't know what kind of monster(s) the team was up against. I guess it proves that humans can be the most mostrous of all and after watching all those years of sci-fi shows aliens rarely effect me these days.

Shakatany

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Hi! Good to hear from you again. :)

Yeah, I did think this was one of the better episodes. At least they were trying for something interesting, even though I don't think they quite achieved it.