rusty_halo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rusty_halo) wrote2003-09-04 01:25 pm
rusty_halo) wrote2003-09-04 01:25 pm
(no subject)
For one class this semester, I have to read 15 novels, write journal responses to each, do a 30 minute research presentation, and write a 15 page paper. That's just one class. I'm taking four.
In addition to four classes, I have to prepare for my colloquium, which involves becoming intimately familiar with 25 books from various eras, writing up a "rationale", and talking about it while being questioned by a room full of strangers for several hours.
In addition to class and homework and research papers and exams and graduation, I'm also working almost 30 hours a week. I co-run the web department at work, where I have a lot of responsibility, so I need to be all there.
Something has to give. I've already quit reading my Yahoo groups (though I occasionally check in on BAPS, and I intend, at some point, to read through the fic I've missed on Salvation and the Gutter). That leaves LJ and the website. I want to keep going with the website, I really do, even though it drives me crazy sometimes. Because it's rewarding to help wonderful stories reach a wider audience, and I think it's a valuable thing to do.
So what does that leave to get rid of? Well, LJ. I do not have time to read the 222 people on my LJ friends' list, despite the fact that I get something out of every single one, and I still feel the lack of the 5 or 6 people I unfriended last week. I've enjoyed getting to know some wonderful people on here, but I'm starting to think that the bad outweighs the good.
I'm sick of people purposely misinterpreting other peoples' opinions just so they can get outraged and make a show of what a victim they are, or how righteous they are for "taking a stand." I'm sick of people being oversensitive and taking every teeny tiny little thing personally and freaking out about it. I'm sick of things turned into gigantic kerfuffles that would be laughed off if we were all just sitting around chatting in RL. I'm sick of seeing people I like and respect tear each other apart over nothing. I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable around people I respect because I think maybe they dislike me over some imagined LJ slight. I'm sick of being paranoid that every single word I type, no matter how innocuous it seems, could be used against me in some giant stupid kerfuffle. I'm sick of not feeling comfortable with anyone because someone I thought I was cool with yesterday could turn around and hate me tomorrow. I'm sick of being judged and stereotyped because I hold certain opinions about fictional characters or about genres of fanfiction. I've just had it. This isn't fun anymore.
Anyway, I don't really know what to do. I don't really want to give up LJ; it always makes me so sad to see people I like leaving. But is there a way to keep the rewarding aspects of LJ and get rid of the irritating ones? For now, I'm going to try reading only a custom friends' group of about 15 people that I trust, people I've either met in RL or know well enough online that I know they're not going to freak out over nothing. I'm also going to strictly enforce a policy that I will not comment on the journal of someone that I do not know exremely well, because I'm sick of seeing my words misinterpreted and used against me when all I wanted to do was let them know I agreed or I was reading or I hope they feel better or I thought their post was interesting or whatever.
We'll see.
The good news: in all the hours of running around NYC between classes, carrying heavy bags full of heavy books that are still making my back ache, I managed to stop for a few minutes and pick up poster frames for my Chance poster and my Spike/Angel (AtS Season 5) poster. The S/A poster looks so cool sitting atop the (non-functional, but very neat looking) fireplace in my bedroom. And it looks ever slashier from a distance. And it's signed. (The signature is all sloppy, but I've managed to convince myself that's because JM was distracted because he was just so delighted to see me again, and has nothing to do with the fact that he'd been sitting there for hours signing autographs and his hand was probably very tired). :)
Also: I know I have LJ comments to reply to and emails to reply to and stories to update and archive and change and whatever else. I'm working on it. I apologize for all delays and slowness and whatever else; it's not meant as rudeness, honestly.
In addition to four classes, I have to prepare for my colloquium, which involves becoming intimately familiar with 25 books from various eras, writing up a "rationale", and talking about it while being questioned by a room full of strangers for several hours.
In addition to class and homework and research papers and exams and graduation, I'm also working almost 30 hours a week. I co-run the web department at work, where I have a lot of responsibility, so I need to be all there.
Something has to give. I've already quit reading my Yahoo groups (though I occasionally check in on BAPS, and I intend, at some point, to read through the fic I've missed on Salvation and the Gutter). That leaves LJ and the website. I want to keep going with the website, I really do, even though it drives me crazy sometimes. Because it's rewarding to help wonderful stories reach a wider audience, and I think it's a valuable thing to do.
So what does that leave to get rid of? Well, LJ. I do not have time to read the 222 people on my LJ friends' list, despite the fact that I get something out of every single one, and I still feel the lack of the 5 or 6 people I unfriended last week. I've enjoyed getting to know some wonderful people on here, but I'm starting to think that the bad outweighs the good.
I'm sick of people purposely misinterpreting other peoples' opinions just so they can get outraged and make a show of what a victim they are, or how righteous they are for "taking a stand." I'm sick of people being oversensitive and taking every teeny tiny little thing personally and freaking out about it. I'm sick of things turned into gigantic kerfuffles that would be laughed off if we were all just sitting around chatting in RL. I'm sick of seeing people I like and respect tear each other apart over nothing. I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable around people I respect because I think maybe they dislike me over some imagined LJ slight. I'm sick of being paranoid that every single word I type, no matter how innocuous it seems, could be used against me in some giant stupid kerfuffle. I'm sick of not feeling comfortable with anyone because someone I thought I was cool with yesterday could turn around and hate me tomorrow. I'm sick of being judged and stereotyped because I hold certain opinions about fictional characters or about genres of fanfiction. I've just had it. This isn't fun anymore.
Anyway, I don't really know what to do. I don't really want to give up LJ; it always makes me so sad to see people I like leaving. But is there a way to keep the rewarding aspects of LJ and get rid of the irritating ones? For now, I'm going to try reading only a custom friends' group of about 15 people that I trust, people I've either met in RL or know well enough online that I know they're not going to freak out over nothing. I'm also going to strictly enforce a policy that I will not comment on the journal of someone that I do not know exremely well, because I'm sick of seeing my words misinterpreted and used against me when all I wanted to do was let them know I agreed or I was reading or I hope they feel better or I thought their post was interesting or whatever.
We'll see.
The good news: in all the hours of running around NYC between classes, carrying heavy bags full of heavy books that are still making my back ache, I managed to stop for a few minutes and pick up poster frames for my Chance poster and my Spike/Angel (AtS Season 5) poster. The S/A poster looks so cool sitting atop the (non-functional, but very neat looking) fireplace in my bedroom. And it looks ever slashier from a distance. And it's signed. (The signature is all sloppy, but I've managed to convince myself that's because JM was distracted because he was just so delighted to see me again, and has nothing to do with the fact that he'd been sitting there for hours signing autographs and his hand was probably very tired). :)
Also: I know I have LJ comments to reply to and emails to reply to and stories to update and archive and change and whatever else. I'm working on it. I apologize for all delays and slowness and whatever else; it's not meant as rudeness, honestly.
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