My Body Is Not Public Property

http://rusty-halo.com/wordpress/?p=2547

I want to talk about something other than how objectified and sick I’m still feeling over that whole “let’s make womens’ bodies public property so we can grope them” thing. Someone go read my “Planet of the Ood” essay and engage me in polite conversation. Or think up another topic you’d like me to post about, and I will.

Meanwhile, I am still upset and hurt, so I’m trying to make myself feel better by thinking (well, writing) aloud about the issues this brings up for me.

* kita0610 wrote a poem that is amazing and wonderful. Even if you’re sick of this topic, you should read the poem, because Kita made something awesome out of it all.

* I’m thinking about wearing one of these pins at DragonCon. On one hand, I don’t want to wear anything related to this fiasco; on the other hand, Project Back Each Other Up is awesome. We’ll see.

* This post from synecdochic gave me a lot to think about regarding the difference between “sex-positive” and “getting-laid-positive.” (Not sure I agree with everything there, but she makes a lot of good points.) One of the things that really stands out to me is the inherent flaw in the idea that empowered female sexuality = letting strangers grope you. Isn’t that just reinforcing the belief that female sexuality is inherently passive? I mean, I’m sure that some women do get off on being groped by strangers, fine, but I think most of us consider “empowered sexuality” to mean something different than “letting someone grope me.” It’s such a clueless male perspective on female sexuality. And the whole idea that what women were getting out of this was getting their self-esteem validated because a stranger wanted to grope them–haven’t we been fighting for ages not to base our self-esteem solely on what other people think of our physical appearances? (And then theferrett had the gall to say in the comments that he doesn’t do “pity gropes,” so it’s really only about boosting the self-esteem of women who fit into his view of what’s attractive).

* I would hate to be a female celebrity. What they get isn’t different from what the rest of us get, but they have to deal with a far more intense version of it–the idea that any time they go out in public, no matter what they’re doing, their bodies are public property and open to comment and criticism from anyone who sees them.

( Gross things I saw recently )

* One thing this debacle made me realize is that a lot of men (even apparently decent ones) assume that if a woman is "dressed to impress" (however the hell you define that) in public, she's doing it for the admiration of random men she encounters.

I know that some women do enjoy getting the attention of strangers, and that's perfectly fine. But. You cannot assume that every woman wants that. I was thinking about my own experiences, and literally, I have never once in my life dressed up because I wanted the attention of a stranger. ( Reasons I have dressed up, and how being objectified hurts me )

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Current Mood: sad