rusty_halo

http://rusty-halo.com/wordpress/?p=2819

An act of anti-sanity: staying up until 3am on a work night, watching The Man Who Fell to Earth. For the second time.

*feels out of it and is going to bed early tonight*

It was better on rewatch, but even more depressing. I just wanted to curl up and cry at the end. Plus jaydk and I got drunk beforehand and watched the first two Death Note movies. Kind of a dark-themed night!

Watching The Man Who Fell to Earth while drunk is extra-weird because it’s largely a movie about alcoholism. That’s not the theme that intrigues me–more just the way it captures social isolation and the inability to communicate. The way you can want so desperately to connect with another person and it still doesn’t work–that love isn’t enough.

*gets depressed again*

Meanwhile I’m trying Low. I’m kind of sad because I feel like I can’t viscerally appreciate the full impact of this music, just because it was so groundbreaking at the time. Whereas I was raised on stuff like The Downward Spiral and just take the industrial / electronic / ambient thing for granted.

Still, nothing can take away from the fact that this is really good. Although not as dark as I was led to believe–but then, see: raised on The Downward Spiral.

Maybe Bowie’s just dark in a more subtle way than Reznor. I can barely listen to NIN anymore because Reznor’s lyrics hit my embarrassment squick so badly. I like to think he just pulls them verbatim from the diary he kept at age 16; the possibility that he’s writing them fresh as an adult is almost too horrible to contemplate.

Although actually, this reminds me even more of PIG (whose lyrics thankfully are not embarrassing), particularly of the instrumentals on Sinsation.

Anyway, Low. Is nifty, and I will listen to it more.

Also I am throughly absorbed in this David Bowie encyclopedia. It’s great–it’s entirely about Bowie’s creative output and skips the trashy bio stuff unless it’s directly relevant to the art. It’s divided into different sections–an entry on every single song, album, music video, film role, etc. The guy writing it seems to have a good head on his shoulders–he explains the history of each song, describes the creative contributions of everyone involved, points out the allusions and references, peppers his commentary with direct quotes as much as possible and explains his speculations with evidence, and includes both a historical overview of each piece in addition to quotes from the major reviews of the time.

It’s really fascinating both as a look at Bowie and at one sliver of the world of the 1970s, which is this whole other intriguing thing for me–this is the first time I’ve been a major fan of someone working in a era I didn’t live through, so it’s almost a study of the time as much as it is of him. It really hits you how much artists are influenced by the time and place they work in. I suppose the closest I’ve come before is my Sergio Leone obsession, which led to this whole interest in post-war European perspectives on America (which is also an aspect of Bowie’s work… and of Raymond Watts’… I wonder why I keep being drawn to that).

Sorry, babbling.

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. Please click here to comment.
(Anyone can comment on public entries.)

I went to Atlantic City this weekend to see Nine Inch Nails. Some thoughts:

* I'm over this whole "traveling alone" thing. It's so tedious, not having anyone to distract you from the fact that the line is long, you're thirsty, your back hurts, etc. And not having anyone to protect you from the creeps around you.

* Greyhound busses are repulsive--dirty, smelly, and cramped. They don't follow correct schedules, they're completely unreliable, and their barely-there staff is beyond rude. You don't treat adults the way they treated us; you shouldn't even treat 5-year-olds with such rudeness and condescension.

* Atlantic City is a shithole. Do you want to know the amount of time it took from me stepping off the bus for some skeevy guy to walk over and hit on me? 15 seconds. He literally saw me walk off the bus and made a beeline for me, and followed me through the bus station.

Speaking of the bus station, it was disgustingly dirty and there were no cabs or anything around, and I just wanted to get the hell out of there, so I decided to walk the 1.3 miles to the House of Blues. Bad idea. Every single person I walked past either stared at me like I was an alien or like he wanted to rape me and do disgusting things to my corpse. One man wondered aloud to his friend what it would be like to "do that," and they had a good cackle as I walked past.

* When I finally got to the hellhole known as the House of Blues, it was disgusting--I think it could give the Imperial Palace a run for its money. Dank and dark and sweaty and reeking of desperation--and cigarette smoke. I forgot they let people smoke inside in Jersey. I knew I shouldn't have bothered with this trip.

And the staff was as rude and clueless as you could be. No one could tell me where the spiral (fan club) entrance was, but I eventually found it (after ignoring the advice of many staff members who told me to "just get in the line"). When I got there, they lined us up in three parallel rows, and refused to let anyone out to go to the bathroom or get a drink. (Some girl who'd been waiting for hours left to pee, and when she came back to re-join her mother in line, the guards would not let her back in, even though she'd clearly been there waiting for hours, AND her mom had the tickets.)

Then they combined the three parallel lines in reverse order, so that everyone who'd been there first were moved to the back. People who'd been waiting since noon were behind people who'd just gotten there at five thirty. When we protested, we were lectured and told that they could not be responsible for "babysitting" us.

* So we finally got inside, and I was standing in the center with about five rows in front of me. The opening band was a rapper (WTF?) and then there was a loooong wait. This was growing increasingly intolerable, as I'd been travelling since noon and standing for several hours and hadn't eaten since breakfast and I'd been scrunched into this tiny Greyhound seat with this huge guy taking half my space and blabbing on his phone the entire 2 1/2 hour trip and I was in NO MOOD to stand for freaking hours in a tiny cramped sweltering mosh pit.

And then the fire alarms went off.

Naturally, no one moved, but they turned on the house lights and the fire alarm lights were flashing. We stood for about two more hours; NO ONE came out to make any kind of announcement about what was going on until about an hour and 45 minutes into it. The fire department showed up and went onstage (waving to the crowd, who cheered them), and finally we were told that the smoke from the smoke machines, plus all the people smoking, plus the heat from the crowd, had set off the fire alarms in the casino, and the show couldn't start until they checked the entire casino for a fire.

Lovely.

* So finally the show started, and the pit SUCKED. All these huge guys who'd just gotten there tried to shove their way up to the front, in the process crushing the people who'd been waiting for hours and hours. I know this is normal for mosh pits, but I've never been in one this unpleasant. It was just a really ugly, unpleasant asshole/frat boy type crowd.

After about two and a half songs, I couldn't breathe, I was gasping for air, my chest was being crushed, and I knew I had to get out of there or die. So I turned around, and had to push my way out/pretend I was actually fainting so that people would let me through. Meanwhile, the girl in front of me realized that I was trying to leave, and latched onto my arm, begging me to take her with me. So I had to struggle my way out of the pit carrying my purse, my coat, and this other girl attached to my arm. We finally staggered out, stood in the back, caught our breaths, drank some $3 water, and then enjoyed the rest of the show from the back.

They played "Burn," my favorite, and "Wish," and some good stuff, but really nothing that special. And I couldn't sing along because I couldn't catch enough breath to sing.

This is the first time I've ever had to leave a mosh pit. I'm not a wuss. This crowd *really* sucked. As we stood in the back, we saw a progression of people who'd been standing near us up front, staggering their way out or being carried by their friends, in increasingly worse states of health. I'm so glad I got out early.

* And then I had to catch yet another hideous Greyhound bus at midnight to NYC, got home at 4am, had to take a shower to rid myself of the stench of Atlantic City, and slept for a very, very long.

I am exhausted.

Saturday I got up at 5am, took a bunch of trains, and by noon I was standing in line outside of the Wachovia Spectrum in Philadelphia.

After lots of confusion, about 300 people were let in to the NIN soundcheck at around 4pm. They played 5 songs (not including Aaron playing "Eye of the Tiger" before it started) and Trent was surprisingly chatty. He said the soundcheck was much scarier for them than the show, because all the lights were on and they were exposed. Seeing a NIN soundcheck... pretty damn cool experience.

They kept us inside after that. I had a Luna Bar and some orange juice, as my only food since 5am breakfast, and I was starving. They had food and drinks inside but wouldn't sell them to us. Lame. :(

Did I mention how chaotic it was? We kept getting sorted and reordered randomly, so that people who got there at 3pm were ahead of people who got there at 5am.

I was supposed to go with my friend Mike, but he didn't show up until 7pm, so I had to leave his ticket at Will Call for him to pick up without me. I love Mike, but I was really pissed off about this. Next time I invite someone to go to a show with me and get them a premium ticket, they had better actually go to the show with me. I was really upset about having to go alone--I'd been looking forward to having company at a concert for once.

Anyway. So they kept us in a seated section until at 6:45, when they let the GA people onto the floor. Once again, this was pure chaos, and where you ended up was determined largely by how pushy you were and how fast you ran. I ran pretty damn fast, and ended up IN THE FRONT ROW, left side, directly in front of Jeordie.

Two opening bands is two much. Death from Above 1979 is all headache-inducing drums, with a singer who sounds like a dying cat. *shudders* Queens of the Stone Age are quite good, but I was tired. I was so exhausted, and thirsty, and had such a headache, that it was really hard to enjoy myself.

Then NIN came on. And the crowd sucked. Let me reiterate--I was in the front row of a Nine Inch Nails concert, directly in front of Jeordie White, and NO ONE EVEN PUSHED ME. What the fuck was this? I mean, it's nice not to have to worry about bruised ribs, but a little shoving livens things up nicely. The crowd was practically dead. NIN fans must be getting old, or something.

I finally cracked and begged a guard for a water bottle (actually the nice lady two people over asked for me), and that was perhaps the best drink of water I've ever had in my life. The girl next to me was really nice, too--a fellow Jeordie fan. (For many years, Jeordie was Marilyn Manson's ultra-hot second-in-command, Twiggy Ramirez. I still think of him as Twiggy in my head--sorry.)

Anyway, so it was pretty much the best view imaginable. No one blocking me, no one pushing me. I didn't have much energy to move, though, and my voice was so dead that I could barely manage to mouth the lyrics, let alone sing. (Perhaps I shouldn't have used up all my energy jumping around and screaming every lyric to every song at the MSG show.) Still, I'm making it sound bad, and it wasn't--it was really cool to see them so close. Jeordie has such a cool stage persona, and is always doing little things that make him fun to watch (making faces at the crowd, tossing us water, etc.) I ended up with two Jeordie guitar picks.

Trent... well, "Right Where it Belongs" and "Hurt" were wonderful. As were "March of the Pigs" and "Burn." "Something I Can Never Have" was also really emotional. There were too many "With Teeth" songs, though. The setlist was very similar to that of the MSG show, although this time they played "Dead Souls" (way cool). Trent was quite chatty and kept saying thank you, more than I've ever heard him do. The crowd was disappointing, though--the arena wasn't sold out, and a lot of people were sitting. The mosh pit was at least moving somewhat, closer to the center, but not near me.

I had the horrible thought that this was like being at a Buffy convention--Reznor even resembles Marsters, now, with his bulky body and shaved head, mid-life crisis in action. And his lyrics have about the same level of emotional maturity, sadly. (Though I do not deny that Reznor is a *brilliant* songwriter when it comes to music.) And the crowd--the fan club thing, maybe, is the problem. Older women who follow him around to multiple shows, taking pictures of every angle, gossiping about who grabbed his ass at the last meet-n-greet, and a fan club that gives you custom NIN membership cards with your name on them. It's not NIN ten years ago, raw and hungry and real. It's NIN as an institution, the NIN sideshow. NIN is not subversive anymore, NIN is the mainstream. They start with "Pinion," dirty and evil and awesome, but 12 year old girls and 40 year old women scream in excitement, and then they go into "All the Love in the World" or whatever that boring thing is, and it just kills it. I don't know, I shouldn't be so negative, the atmosphere was just depressing.

I found Mike afterward, and he was with Joe and another friend. I gave Joe a huge hug--it was so good to see him again. It's been two years, maybe. He looks like a real adult, now. It scares me. We're getting old. Danielle and her sister Melissa were there, too--we said a brief "hi"--but they left right away, while I was talking to Joe. Whatever.

Mike drove me, Joe, and his other friend back to NJ. (I slept over at my parents' house, because I'd missed the last train to NY, and I was so exhausted.) We played with Joe's GPS tracking system thingy (freaky! it talks to you and gives you directions) and stopped at a 7-11 (best Terra Chips I've ever eaten). The fog was crazy--it took a really long time to get back because we were driving through clouds in the middle of the night with like 10-foot visibility.

So I got to my parents' house around 4am, slept deeper than I've slept in a long time, but had to get up early to take the train back to NYC for a bunch of roommate meetings.

Oh yeah--I didn't take any photos, but someone else took one with my head in the shot. It's here (I have the red hair and the barrette):
http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/7285/nin122nt.jpg

After the roommate showings on Sunday, I collapsed with fresh food, water, and a comfy couch. You wouldn't believe how nice that feels after nearly 24 hours awake and traveling.

*sigh*

I'm getting old. :(

Holy crap, it just really hit me that in an hour and a half I will be heading to MSG to see Nine Inch Nails.

*freaks out*

Thinking about the new NIN.

I've been listening to it sporadically, interspersed with Broken, The Downward Spiral, and The Fragile. (Alas, of Pretty Hate Machine all I enjoy anymore are the first three songs and "Sin").

Anyway. With Teeth is above average, but not exceptional. Which I think is why it hasn't grabbed me in the same way as, say, TDS, which has moments of such astounding, exceptional power that your breath is taken away.

But With Teeth is solid.

The only song that has really grabbed me is "Right Where it Belongs"--from the first moment I heard it at the listening party, I knew that song was exceptional. Of the others, "The Hand That Feeds," "Only," "Sunspots," and "The Line Begins to Blur" are all very good.

Some of the other songs are actually boring or annoying, which is a first for me with NIN; for example, I skip "Awitha Teetha" every time is comes on.

But I'm realizing that I really do like the record overall. The good songs are indeed very good.

I guess I'm starting to "get" this album more, to accept it on its own terms rather than being sad that it's missing the utterly fucked up insanity and passion of TDS. It's an album from a person who is more "together," a person who has grown, and one thing that's great about NIN is that Trent doesn't repeat himself. His work is a reflection of himself, and it grows with him, and that's impressive and challenging--even if I haven't grown the same way, and so don't quite relate the way I once did.

Anyway, the point is that NIN tickets for the Philadelphia show go on sale tomorrow at noon to fan club members. Cross your fingers for me. :)

I'm leaving tonight for Los Angeles, where I will meet up with 10zlaine. lonners will be joining us on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, we'll head to San Diego for Comic Con, which is going to be so totally awesome. (Pssst, VM fans? Jason Dohring is on the Veronica Mars panel. >:)

I'll be back on Monday July 18.

I know I have obligations to fulfill, but unfortunately it's been an insanely busy week (work, packing, trip planning, etc.) and I haven't gotten to everything. If you're waiting for something from me (fic archiving, Q&A response, mailed videotapes, etc...), I will take care of it when I return. I apologize for the delay.

I'll be checking my email periodically, if you need to get in touch.

NIN tickets for MSG are going on sale while I'm gone. I'll have to figure out a way to get online for those.

Bye! :)

Tonight I'm going to see VNV Nation. I don't like them that much, but my friend April is supposed to be there.

Depeche Mode is touring the U.S. this fall. I haven't seen tour dates yet, though.

NIN is also touring the U.S. this fall, with Queens of the Stone Age. They're playing Madison Square Garden on November 3. I am SO there. They'll also be in Philadelphia on November 5, which is a Saturday, so I might go to that, too. No clue yet when tickets are going on sale, though.

There a really interesting guide to electronic music here. The tutorial (history lesson) is neat, and the maps (of genres over time and place) are fascinating. Click "trance" to find the good stuff (goth, industrial, synthpop, darkwave, industrial rock, etc.) They've got Cruxshadows, KMFDM, NIN, blah blah blah, pretty much every band I like is represented somewhere. (I'd love to read an in-depth history of the evolution of these genres....)

Bruce Campbell will be at the Angelika Film Center tomorrow, signing at 10pm and showing his movie at 11:30. If I'm lucky, I might be able to go to that.

This week has sucked--work's been insanely stressful, and I've had to rush home to show my apartment every night. I'm going to try to make up for it this weekend.

I've been listening to NIN, With Teeth and The Fragile. Yes, I finally opened the shrink-wrapped copy of The Fragile that's been sitting on my CD shelf for the past five years. And hey, it's like, really good! Bunches of people have told me this over the years, but I always lacked the desire to listen to it. I'm enjoying it immensely now, though; I guess I had to wait to be in the right emotional place or something.

I've been thinking lately. Mostly about art.

There was a Marilyn Manson quote, about art being the equivalent of god, something like that. Like instead of organized religion to give life meaning, you find it in art, in creation. Sort of sprituality based around the expression of the "human spirit" through creativity, something like this. (I was reading something else similar, I think related to William Blake, but I'm too lazy to figure out what it was.)

I'm always arguing with my dad--he always finds my interest in art/music/books/tv to be irrelevant and useless, and takes every opportunity to criticize me for wasting my time, and not making money or doing math or whatever the hell he thinks of as a valid pursuit. And I try to explain to him that to me, art is what makes life worth living... in fact it's pretty much the only thing that gives life meaning....

Random sort of related thoughts....

( Read more... )

I think that concert ticket pre-sales were invented for the sole purpose of torturing me.

Two tries, and still no NIN tickets. They must've sold out each time within five seconds.

Last chance: 5pm today.

*SOB OF TERROR*