These responses are totally dripping with SPOILERS so please click carefully!

Highlander )

Doctor Who )

Buffy the Vampire Slayer )

The Lymond Chronicles )

A Song of Ice and Fire )
Current Mood: bored emoticon bored

Originally published at Please click here to comment.
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Have a type?

Who, me? )

Bowie's hotter.
Current Mood: silly emoticon silly

Originally published at Please click here to comment.
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Gacked from [info]a_white_rain:

Buffy meme )

It's been so long that I can barely remember most of this stuff. Let's try something more recent.

new Doctor Who version )
Current Mood: listless emoticon listless

Originally published at Please click here to comment.
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Writercon rocked. I miss everyone so much. And I *so* don't want to wait two years before I see any of you guys again. *sniffle*

So let's see. I'm going to throw together some kind of little con report here, but I'm veerrrry tired so I can't promise that I'll remember everything.

Tuesday )

Wednesday )

Thursday )

Friday )

Saturday )

Sunday )

Monday )

Tuesday )

Overall, I totally loved the con, even though Vegas was icky and the hotel sucked. The panels were thought-provoking and well done, and the people were just wonderful. I'm so glad I got to meet everyone that I did. In particular, it was great to spend time with [ profile] irfikos, [ profile] inobunny, [ profile] witling, [ profile] _jolielaide, and [ profile] saussy.

The con itself ran so smoothly, and was so perfectly done. I mean, it was clear that the organizers were there to make sure everyone had the best experience possible. They were totally in it to make it the best con possible, not to make money or fame for themselves. I'm so proud that these people, most of whom I've known since I got into fandom, managed to pull off Writercon and make it such an astounding success. And I'm so proud that our fandom has such amazing, interesting, talented, brilliant people.

My regrets: I wish I'd gone to more panels. I wish there had been longer and more specific panels (maybe character, pairing, show, or era specific somehow?) since my interest in the Jossverse is mostly Spike and male/male slash specific at this point. And because a more specific panel would be able to go in depth even further, which was really when things get interesting.

I met tons of neat people, but with a con this big, I guess you're bound to miss a few. I'm sad that I somehow managed to miss talking to many cool folks that I wanted to see (like fallowdoe, rahirah, shadowlass, fenchurche, Cynthia Martin, and several others). I'm sad that I was only able to speak very briefly with some people (especially members of the concom, who I know were insanely busy). And I really felt the absence of those who couldn't attend, especially kita0610, anniesj, and circe_tigana.

But those are just tiny regrets compared to the complete awesomeness of this con. Man, I so don't want to wait two years for another one. :*(
[ profile] anniesj wrote this gorgeous, amazing, heart-breaking Sirius/Remus fic that made me cry at work. Read it here.

I'm currently compulsively reading my way through [ profile] musesfool's RL/SB recs list, which is awesome. Very helpful to someone who is new to the pairing....

I've never had an OTP before, but I really do love this pairing....

I'm eating a varied box of gorgeous, delicious heirloom tomatoes from the Union Square greenmarket. I love that place.

apartment bitching )

I haven't been reading Buffyverse fic. I'm at the point now where my instant reaction is to recoil at even the mention of it. I'm just so not into that universe anymore at all, and I so hate what Mutant Enemy did to it. I was a fan of soulless Spike, not of soulled Spike, and yet I spent ages watching miserably this character who replaced/destroyed the character I loved. The idea of doing that for even one second longer is pretty horrifying. Sorry.

Here's an idea, though. I'm feeling guilty about ignoring fanfic writers who might want their recent work archived on my site. If you're one of those people who I've archived before, could you possibly send me a list (with links) to your recent finished-ready-to-be-archived work that might fit All About Spike? I find that quite a few writers have a hesitancy to promote themselves this way, but believe me, this will make it much easier on me. Otherwise I worry and panic and think "I've missed so much that she's written lately; there's no way I'll ever catch up, so why even bother?" Whereas if you just list it for me, I can catch up easily and not feel like I'm missing something.

[ profile] ck594us did this, and notice, I read and archived her recent work very quickly.

Of course, if it's a pain to do this, don't bother. But if you're wishing your stuff was archived at AAS, this would make it happen much more quickly.

I think I'm probably going to stick to reading Spike fic from authors I've read and archived before, or else stuff that's hugely highly recommended. I'm not going to just randomly pick up a Spike fic and start reading it anymore. I'd like to; I really enjoyed running my website. But I'm just so not interested in the topic at all.

And this damn Harry Potter fanfic keeps calling me....

And just to clarify for the millionth time, I'm not going to shut All About Spike down. Not for years and years and years, if ever. It's an archive, it should be there for people to read and reference, even if I'm not updating it anymore.
I just handed in my last academic paper (ever?).

Assuming all goes well (which it should *knock on wood*), this is it. All classes are over, this was the last bit of academic work required to graduate.

This feels so weird. Like, my entire life has been leading up to this moment. I didn't exactly choose it, I didn't exactly want it (though I also couldn't think of any more preferable option), but here I am, I've achieved it. College graduation. What an incredible relief that this is over.

I'm a bit sad, which surprises me. I felt nothing but a sort of bitter joy at having escaped high school alive; I still feel no nostalgia for that nightmarish hell. But I actually started to appreciate college a bit near the end, maybe about 2/3 of the way through. I'll never like homework or papers or grades, but once I found the kinds of classes that suited my personality--cultural studies, gender studies--I saw the point. I appreciated the insights and the need for them and I felt like I grew as a person because of those classes.

I sort of wish I could've done it over again knowing what I know now; I spent at least the first half of college floating around totally lost, without a clue what I wanted to study or where I fit in. By the time I finally found it, it seems like I barely had time to skim the surface.

But anyway. It's over and done with now and man, am I relieved!

I spent the weekend in something of a daze: all my finals this year were papers, all were long, and all were due within the same period of time. So this weekend I wrote:

- 12 pages on the construction of masculinity in Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy and its relationship to the cultural changes of the 1960s in America (due Monday 5/3)
- 6 pages on the theme of objectification in Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and its relation to the academic study of history (due Monday 5/3)
- 12 pages on the relationships between dominant culture, subculture, and family in Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys (due Wednesday 5/5)

I just returned from handing the last paper in. That's 30 pages in about four days. It was all done very last minute because I had other work to finish up the week before. That also means I've barely slept in the past four days: I was up 36 hours, from Sunday morning to Monday night, slept for about eight hours, then got up again Tuesday morning and have been awake until now (Wednesday afternoon). And now I'm at work trying to catch up because I missed Monday. Man, I can't wait to go home and sleep.

This is a babbling, nonsensical post; I offer exhaustion as an excuse.

I wish I had something related to the Spike-verse to say. Unfortunately it has utterly failed to hold my attention; the little time I've had to devote to fandom lately has been toward Methos. I really wish I could keep my attention on Spike; I love the community that surrounds this fandom. I want to continue to be a part of it. But, well, there's just nothing that Mutant Enemy could do that would make me want to watch--or even think about--their product. I'll spare you the anti-ME rant; if you read my journal you know how I feel about their ideology. I know now that there's nothing there for me and never will be. Thinking about it just makes me angry and sad.

I'd much prefer to think about Methos and Jaime Lannister, whose creators appreciated the value of an ambiguous character and the value of free will, the ability of the individual to change. [ profile] drujan and I went to see Hellboy the other weekend and though I didn't particularly enjoy the film, we both loved the theme that it doesn't matter how you start out, you don't have some essential essence; you have choice, you decide who you are, no one else does. Methos and Jaime both embody that; anything that ME creates embodies the opposite: the triumph of fate, inability to escape destiny, essentialism, ultimate lack of choice. (Don't argue; if you feel differently, good, enjoy yourself, you're not going to convince me.)

I bought the DVDs for Highlander seasons four and five (graduation gift to self, shut up frugal conscience) and I love them. am I still talking about Highlander??? Okay, I think the thesis here is something like 'Kronos is an essentialist and Methos is a social constructionist'.... oh, shut up. Long Highlander mini-essay. )
[ profile] thedeadlyhook has a great post about the Spike/Buffy relationship here.

I have an extra ticket for the Moonlight Rising convention that I'm trying to sell. It's #240 -- tickets sold by the con itself are currently in the five or six hundreds, so this is a much better seat. Seating and autographs are by badge number so it's really worthwhile to try to get a lower seat number.

I'll sell mine for what I paid for it ($215). So if you're thinking of going, this is a better deal than what you'll get through the official con website, for the same price. If interested in purchasing it, please contact me at

You can get info about the con here. Current guests include James Marsters (and his band), all three members of the Trio (Danny Strong, Tom Lenk, Adam Busch), Common Rotation (Adam Busch's band), Stephanie Romanov, Iyari Limon, James Leary, Andy Hallet ... lots of cool people.

(I'm still going, btw--just changing my seat number.)
Um, would anyone happen to know where I might find high-quality Methos-centric Highlander fanfiction? I've never read Highlander fic before. Any rating, any pairing, any topic is fine, as long as it's got Methos and is written well. (From what I've seen so far, writing a complicated morally ambiguous 5,000 year old immortal well is quite a challenge.)

I ended up celebrating my colloquium by watching my two favorite Highlander episodes, "Comes a Horseman" and "Revelation 6:8." Then I watched them again. Then I decided to watch all of the Methos episodes that I have on tape. Then I decided that I need more; thus, fic. Most of what I've found so far has involved Methos behaving like a 12-year-old girl with a crush on Duncan, so if anyone could point me in a more productive direction I'd appreciate it. He's such a wonderful character; I'm sure there must be great fic out there somewhere.

I haven't read my LJ in a week. I suppose this has to do with souled Spike's failure to hold my attention--I'm turning to Methos and Jaime Lannister instead. Alas, neither actually has the potential to hold my attention long-term--Methos' story has been over for years, and who knows when the next Song of Ice and Fire book will be out (plus, Jaime has a miniscule fandom). But for the time being, this is entertaining me.

While watching these episodes I became curious as to what my reaction might have been when I first saw them, so I pulled out my old diary and checked the date that the episosdes aired. Sure enough, post "Revelation" I devoted three pages to expounding on the wonderfulness of Methos. I was fifteen at the time--six years ago. I may be fairly new to online fandom, but I've always been a fan. It amuses me how little I've changed.

I think in the end, I love Methos much more than Spike. Methos is a lot like Jaime Lannister in that they both took the hard path toward redemption--struggle and suffering and choice. No magic deus ex machina soul for them.

babbling about why I like Methos more than Spike )

So, anyone going to see Common Rotation at the Bitter End this weekend?
Since my site is a fairly popular Spike site, I think that by looking at its statistics, one can extrapolate some general trends about Spike fandom (especially the fanfic side). Of course, my site is skewed toward the segment of Spike fic readers that happen to visit my particular site, so that should be kept in mind.

I've compiled some statistics and my analysis of what they mean. So what do my stats suggest about Spike fanfic/fandom trends? )
I think that one of my biggest problems with this season isn't even directly tied to Spike. It's just the whole "morality should be black and white" theme in general.

Like, I don't get what's wrong with Angel taking over Wolfram and Hart. If he hadn't, really seriously evil people would've taken it over, and used it to do many horrible evil awful things. By being there and preventing even 1/10th of those things, Angel is doing more good than he'd ever manage to do in his tiny, broke little detective organization.

And now, when he wants to do something good, he has immense resources to do it. He can accomplish so much more from this position than he ever could have before.

Should he have lied and erased his friends' memories to get them there? Of course not. But the actual being there, trying to change the system instead of just striking against it ... that's the right thing to do. That's the adult thing to do. Morality is not black and white; it's all shades of grey. Trying to change something is going to be a lot more successful than trying to tear it down. (This isn't to say there isn't a place for those who do fight the injustices of the "system," but it's not inherently wrong to try to change the system from inside, either.)

Now this doesn't mean that it's not dangerous. Yes, Angel and his friends are running the risk of becoming corrupted. But this is their own fault; Gunn, apparently, has given in to the evil that surrounds them, and perhaps others are leaning in this direction too. This is because of their own decisions; it's not the inevitable outcome of working at Wolfram and Hart (though apparently we're supposed to think it is?)

Last week we saw Angel longing for black and white, and Spike, of all people, arguing for it. (Which is probably the largest reason this Spike makes absolutely no sense to me.) To me, this is a weakness in both of them, a longing for childish simplicity instead of a decision to live in the real world, where things are complicated and easy answers aren't always just spelled out for you.

But apparently, we're just supposed to be longing for the black and white along with Angel? I just completely don't get it.

more bitching about Spike specifically (and the end of grey-area Spike) )
I wasn't going to post this, but then when I was catching up with my FL I saw quite a few people trying to figure out why some people do or don't like Spike this season. And I saw a lot of assumptions that don't apply to me, like "If you don't like Spike this season, you must worship pure wussy saint Spike," or whatever. So I decided to post this anyway.

I know most people will disagree with this. I'm fine with disagreement in my LJ, but please be nice about it. People can interpret a story differently without that meaning that one or the other is "wrong." I have no problem with most of the people who are enjoying Spike this year. I'm glad you're finding something meaningful there. I'm just not. This is about explaining my reasons, not debunking anyone else's.

Original post:

I've been hoping since "Lessons" to like Spike again, and I've finally come to realize that my Spike really did die in "Grave." I don't like and am not interested in the guy who replaced him. (And, believe me, I really did try to like him, and tried to convince myself that I liked him, but honestly I just don't and I'm sick of trying to force myself to.)

Why (negativity; skip it if it'll bother you) )

Um, yeah, and last thing: my dislike of Spike this season has absolutely nothing to do with the fact I think JM's makeup sucks. Just to clarify that. The crappy makeup annoys me, but I would love a well-written Spike no matter how JM looked. They're two completely separate issues, and I really don't appreciate the insinuation that I'm only dissatisfied with the character because I'm not as attracted to him.
Well, these are supposed to be unpopular opinions, right? So I'm going all out and I'm not going to sugarcoat and qualify. Something here is liable to offend, well, probably everyone, so don't get upset if you, y'know, get upset.

10 unpopular opinions about fan behavior )

10 unpopular opinions about the actual show(s) )
I just defriended a bunch of people. I don't mean to seem pompous; I'm just explaining why because I know some people tend to get upset when defriended, so I want to clarify that it wasn't personal and wasn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

long explanation of why I'm losing interest in Spike )

Anyway, so that's the reason I'm losing interest in the show. The story and the characters just don't resonate with me personally. I do think they've been written well so far on AtS, but the themes just aren't something I care about anymore. I still get upset when bad things happen to Spike, but nothing that fits my definition of "good" has happened in a long time, so it's basically all pain with very little pleasure. The story that mattered to me has been over for a long time, and it ended in just about the worst way possible. I despise the way that BtVS ended; I don't want to think or talk about that show any more. Just seeing Buffy's name in print makes me want to hit someone.

So, that said, I'm starting to disconnect myself from fandom. I just took about 45 people off of my friends list. This isn't an attempt to hurt anyone's feelings, and I apologize if it does. The only reason I'm keeping my LJ at all is that there are a couple of friends I want to stay in touch with, and because I want to keep up with fanfic. I'm really sick of the elitism and judgementalism and sucking up and cliques and having to watch everything you say in case it gets misinterpreted and having to be nice to assholes because they're influential and all the other bullshit of LJ culture, so I'm not sure how much I'll be participating anymore, anyway. I can't stand who I am when I post here.

I'm still going to be running my website, because I haven't got anything better to do and it's as good of a distraction as any. I'll stop updating it when I find something better to occupy my time, which could be next week or next year for all I know. I do plan to leave the archive up as long as I can, though, since I know a lot of people find it to be a useful resource.
Here's the thing. Spike fans are defending themselves with "I love AtS too!" And AtS fans are qualifying, "Well, the Spike fans who like AtS too are okay." The issue seems to be with those Spike fans who have the audacity to care only about Spike, not the rest of the show. Those are the people we all have to quality that we are not, so that everyone knows we care about the other characters too, and we watched the show before Spike showed up, and we think Wesley/Angel/Lorne/whoever is cool, etc.

But my question is: what's so wrong with just liking Spike? I addressed this indirectly in my earlier posts, but I still found myself qualifying that I've watched AtS since the beginning. Why do I have to qualify? Why can't it just be "I watch for Spike, the rest is irrelevant, and I'm not going to apologize for it"?

I posted this somewhere private, but I'm reposting it here because it clarifies what I mean:

It's like the Angel fans are deigning to lecture the Spike fans on how to behave, and letting the "good" ones in, the ones who pass "not rabid Spike fen" muster. The ones who don't claim their Spike fandom too intensely, and are sure to make all the proper bows to the authority of the AtS fans. It's incredibly condescending, and it's based on this assumption that Angel fans are somehow superior to Spike fans and have the right to dictate who is acceptable and who is too "rabid."

The thing is, Spike fans have been around a long time, too. And while every character has their own particular fan following, many Spike fans have always felt separate. One reason is that Spike never really fit into the narrative, so aside from Spike/Buffy fans, Spike fans didn't really have that many connections to the rest of the show and characters. You could be a Spike fan and skip everything in season six after "Seeing Red," minus 3 minutes in each following episode, and have that be it. Spike's story was rarely tied very closely into the story that incorporated all the other characters (which I think is very unfortunate, but that's another issue). Another thing is that Spike fans got to be such a *huge* group--ad campaigns and mobbing at conventions and letter writing and their own separate, distinct places in fandom almost completely apart from the rest of BtVS and AtS fandom. Plus, many Spike fans abandoned general boards, like TWOP or the newsgroup, because they got sick of the rampant Spike-bashing. So they retreated to private Spike-centric communities where discussion of other characters and events tended to occur only in relation to Spike.

So now Spike fans are interacting with AtS fans, and the AtS fans think that they get to tell the Spike fans what to do because the Spike fans are joining "their" show. They see the Spike fans as less, underlings that they can lecture and decide which "count" as the acceptable ones. But it doesn't work that way--Spike fans have been around as a group longer than AtS has existed, we have our own deeply rooted ways of behaving and watching and thinking about the character.

I don't mean that Spike fans are better--my point is that neither group is "better." I seriously don't think the AtS fans would appreciate the more prominent members of Spike fandom coming over and lecturing them on how to watch the show, and the same holds true with Spike fans; we don't need prominent members of AtS fandom telling us what to do. If we want to watch the Spike scenes and skip the rest because it bores us, that's our right--just like the AtS fans can (and many prominently are) dismissing the Spike parts, forming groups were no one can talk about Spike, etc.

I'm not saying that's ideal--it would be nice if we could all appreciate everything, Spike fans loving AtS and AtS fans loving Spike. But realistically, that's not going to happen. It's a matter of taste; some Spike fans aren't going to be interested in AtS, and vice versa. That doesn't make either group "better fans," and it certainly doesn't give one group the right to lecture and order around the other.

So if you're a Spike fan and you agree with this, I suggest that we all make sure not to apologize, not to feel the need to qualify and explain and justify our existence. Even if you have been watching from the beginning and you love Angel to pieces--it would be okay if you didn't. The fact that you love Spike is enough, it has value and meaning on its own. And if the AtS fans don't want to accept that, well, too bad. They don't get to define us. They can call us rabid all they want, but we don't have to listen and we don't have to let it define who we are.
Seriously, how is it okay for someone to say "I don't care about Spike, and I'm upset that he's taking time away from my characters," but when a Spike fan says "I don't care about Angel, and I'm worried about Spike's characterization" that makes us RABID SPIKE FEN? The double standard right there is plain as day. It's okay for them to worry about their characters, but it's somehow wrong for us to worry that our character is getting shafted? On what planet is that fair?

You know what else? I've watched BtVS and AtS both from their very first episodes, minus some lulls where I got bored or fell asleep in the middle. It's not like I'm hopping on the bandwagon and not knowing anything about the show; I watch the show. But now that Spike's here, for the first time, I actually care about the show.

I suppose some people out there watch the show and love every character equally. But most of us identify with one or two characters in particular and care most about their stories. And again, I ask, if the character I happen to care about is Spike, why does that mean there's something wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with a Wesley fan caring most about Wesley, or an Angel fan caring most about Angel. I'm not going to hold that against them. But why, when it's Spike, is it a problem?

And, oh yes, why is there something wrong with me if I don't care about Buffy/Angel/Wes/Lorne/whoever? I see this all the time; you're a "bad fan" if you don't care about Buffy. Huh? Says who? I find her behavior horrific and her personality loathesome. Why does this make me a rotten nasty person?--I dislike her precisely because her behavior offends my morality! It's like, how dare I have an opinion that's not all sunshine and roses and praise Joss? And no one bitches about the Buffy fans who go on about how they can't stand that evil nasty Spike, but it's wrong for the Spike fans to dislike Buffy? Why? The only reason I can see is that she's prioritized by the narrative, she's in the title, etc., but that is just not relevant to me because authorial intent is not my method of interpreting a text. The writers may want me to care mostly about Buffy, but if she falls flat to me and Spike feels real and meaningful, then I'm going to care about Spike.

Y'know, part of the reason I like these shows is that they make me think. And part of thinking means being critical. It would be pretty damn lame (and dishonest with myself) if I watched every episode going "Yay! Joss is wonderful! Everything is so good!" Um, no. BtVS made me think a whole lot about morality and ethics and remorse and atonement and different varieties of feminism and the media's portrayal of "girl power!" and my idea of a strong women and what defines an equal relationship and how does power function in society and a whole lot of interesting things that I might never have considered before. And a lot of the time, the reason I considered these really interesting issues was that I found something disturbing or upsetting in the way BtVS was written and I tried to figure out why it upset me. I really disapprove of the way feminism has been portrayed on BtVS and it's made me think about what feminism means to me, and even though my opinion is negative in regards to BtVS it's been a positive and enlightening realization for me as a person.

So anyway. The whole idea that I'm not allowed to be critical and I have to approve of everything Joss does is just bull, and would significantly take away from my understanding of the show and my ways of interacting with the text. I don't hold it against anyone who does view the show this way, likes all the characters, whatever; it's their right. I respect that. But my opinion is just as valid too.

And really. How would you appreciate being called RABID ANGEL FEN? RABID WESLEY FEN? RABID BUFFY FEN? It's fucking rude. We all have our favorite characters; quit judging the ones that you personally don't like.
I'm a Spike fan. Not an Angel fan. Not a Buffy fan. A Spike fan. Spike is the character that I find interesting and intriguing and fun to watch. I would not be watching either show if he wasn't on it. If he ceased to be on it, I would stop watching.

I find most of the other characters at best only mildly interesting, and at worst, tiresome and irritating. I think that some of the plots are interesting, and a lot of them aren't. The ME brand of "feminism" makes me violently ill and I'd never watch another of their shows again if I didn't want to see Spike. Spike is actually the only fictional character I care about enough to watch TV for; without him I'd probably get rid of my television and not miss it.

So what if my character's not in the title? I'm not going to rearrange my preferences and pretend to be interested in characters that I don't care about just because they're the supposed "real" central characters.

You think this makes me a bad fan? Fuck off. I don't need your approval, and there is nothing wrong with watching for one character.

I blog about fannish things. Busy with work so don't update often. Mirrored at

June 2017

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