* How come no one told me Shane Black is directing Iron Man 3!? I am now looking forward to IM3 approximately a billion times more than I was. :)

* Amanda’s Avengers review at The Mary Sue is hilarious

* Black Widow Spins Webs Around THE AVENGERS — Great article comparing the reactions of male and female reviewers to Black Widow. Talk about the women men don’t see…

* Great meta from cluegirl on the “sentiment” theme in The Avengers

* Fic rec: Shatter by [personal profile] aria. What if Loki fell instead of Thor?

I love this so much. She makes Loki sympathetic and interesting but does not gloss over what a psycho mess he is. (Also for some reason I thought it was gen and was very confused when Loki and Thor started making out halfway through.)

I was thinking it’s weird how much I like Loki, since he’s so awful, then I remembered that I am a fan of Jaime Lannister, Spike, Simm!Master, Scorpius, and Methos. It’s not weird for me at all.

Now admittedly most of those characters have redemption arcs, but you could easily fanwank that Loki is just in the pre-redemption state. Although I don’t really have to, because I don’t care about the redemption story. I just like fucked-up characters. Even the characters I’ve liked who are clearly heroes within their universes (Dean Winchester, John Crichton, the Tenth Doctor, Sirius Black, Brian Kinney, Benton Fraser) I haven’t liked because they are heroes, but because they are made of ~issues~. The moral state of the character is really irrelevant.

I’m thinking I’m going to gravitate to Loki/Thor, because it’s got that same “best enemies” dynamic I loved in Doctor/Master and Spike/Angel.

Game of Thones

* Abigail Nussbaum points out the extra-textual misogyny in Game of Thrones:

just as dead horses are the cost of doing business in the racing industry, traumatized and humiliated actresses are the cost of doing business in cable television.

I think I’m going to stop watching GoT. It has some great stuff (Tyrion! Cersei!) but the misogyny of the writing and directing makes me literally sick. Instead of looking forward to watching a new episode, I find myself actually bracing myself against whatever horrific, exploitative abomination they’re going to inflict this week. This is not an enjoyable fannish experience.

* SNL Explains the Nudity in Game of Thones – aka the funny version of the above meta.

Doctor Who

* The Project Manager’s Guide to Doctor Who — This is a series of analyses of the Master’s project management skills. As I am currently working as a project manager, this is pretty much the funniest thing ever. It’s all true!


* I have been listening to this band The Pretty Reckless, who were amazing opening for Marilyn Manson a couple weeks ago. (Only redeeming thing about an otherwise embarrasingly bad experience.) Their lead singer has amazing stage presence and a fabulous voice. Then I googled them and found that she is 18 (holy crap I am old!) and used to be on Gossip Girl. Um. But since the band really is impressive, here is a link.

I just hope she figures out soon that, with a voice like hers, she really does not have to dress like a stripper to get attention. :(

* Aside from that, I am still on a nonstop Nick Cave kick. “Oh My Lord” is an amazing song.

Originally published at You can comment here or there.


Oct. 24th, 2011 10:38 pm

I don’t know WTF to do about Delicious–keep posting there even though it sucks now? Go to pinboard even though it costs money and I don’t have time to learn a new interface and does it even have Android and Chrome plugins? Wait for a fan-made alternative?

In the meantime, I keep thinking I need to post here more often, so here’s a post of stuff I would previously have bookmarked to Delicious:

Did everyone see [personal profile] luminosity’s new vid about the awesome of Dean? I will show this to people to explain why I love him. :) :) Plus it’s Luminosity so goes without saying that the vid is technically brilliant.

Excellent meta from Tumblr about how SPN others queer characters. Thank you [info]hoeg for the link.

SPN and economic instability, interesting essay by [info]amonitrate

Awww, this vid about how much Sam and Dean love each other. (Just ignore the abjectly awful song. ;P)

Really good SPN fanart, lots of hurt!Dean, some disturbing by [info]smallworld_inc

[personal profile] fajrdrako is writing wonderfully detailed annotations on “The Game of Kings,” the first Lymond book.

I have been listening to Nick Cave almost non-stop (mixed in with PJ Harvey) for about 6 months, but haven’t felt much need to seek out videos. Of the few I’ve seen, this one for Tupelo is my favorite so far.

Also there is Henry Lee with Nick Cave and PJ Harvey, where PJ Harvey is so riveting I barely notice Nick Cave is there…

And while randomly clicking around, this awesome clip of Hole doing “Pretty on the Inside”. *sigh* There is a part of me that will always adore Courtney Love.

I also have a whole pile of fic I could rec, but no time to put it together in an organized fashion. Stupid Delicious. >:(

Originally published at You can comment here or there.

Just got all teary watching Pearl Jam Twenty, Cameron Crowe’s documentary about Pearl Jam. Twenty because they’ve been a band for twenty years, a fact I can’t actually wrap my head around even if I understand it intellectually.

I’ve noticed this thing where I grow apart from people, and time goes by and I age, but in my head I expect them to be exactly the way they were when I last saw them. Of course it doesn’t work that way. It’s shocking when we meet up again, to discover that the distance between us is not just my distance, but theirs too.

I miss the time when I could be so profoundly moved by art. I spend so much of my time in fandom, but for me the thing I’m fannish about is ultimately entertainment. It’s something I enjoy very much, and the human connections I form with other fans can be profound, but the fannish work itself is distant in a way. It exists for my pleasure, and I can leave it behind if it stops pleasing me.

Music is something else. I can’t ever leave it behind.

There was a time when music defined me. It’s imprinted into my foundation of self. This film captures so much of that era… I can’t believe it was twenty years ago.

The film is very well made; the juxtaposition of “Alive” from their second show ever and “Alive” today is inspired, as is the focus on the concert experience, the way that the band and the audience become one creative organism together.

It was good to see so many familiar faces. Andy Wood, Chris Cornell, Kurt Cobain, that little glimpse of Layne, Jerry, Sean, and Mike… and of course the Pearl Jam guys. I used to have Cameron Crowe’s entire 1993 Rolling Stone interview taped to my bedroom wall. My entire room was wallpapered in clippings about these bands. I wanted to be Chris Cornell when I grew up.

It was unusual for a musical movement. They cared so much about integrity and ethics. They were so emotionally honest, so revealing and raw; in retrospect, so naive, so young. It was so easy to relate, to believe my struggles were similar, and to love them so much.

I discovered this music after moving around and changing schools five times in five years. I was ugly, too tall, too smart, geeky and weird in every possible way. I had no friends and no mentors. I was so lonely and music was the only thing that filled that gaping empty hole inside, that made life worth living. I looked up to those guys so much; they were my older siblings, my cool uncles. My initial foray into feminism was because of Eddie Vedder and gay rights because of Kurt Cobain. I wore band t-shirts and ripped jeans for two years. I remember wishing that Eddie Vedder was my father.

It makes me miss Danielle. She was the first real friend I ever had, and music was one of the primary ways we connected. Twenty years. So weird seeing how much the Pearl Jam guys have changed, and I’ve changed, and knowing she’s changed. Things that once meant so much, now so far apart.

Originally published at You can comment here or there.

* USA released three network promos featuring Neal and Peter from White Collar. I don’t know the characters from the other shows, but yay for more Neal and Peter!

* Some clueless pro writer posted a screed about why fanfic sucks. Old wank, I know, but it’s inspired some lovely counterarguments that have reminded me how wonderful fanfiction is, both the art form itself and the community around it. Here is a really lovely ode to fanfic from [info]pandarus.

* There’s this discussion going on in the feminist blogosphere about “Dude Music” and the comparative lack of respect female musicians and fans get. It’s incredibly interesting if you’re into rock music, and if you’re not it’s still very relevant, since it highlights a whole lot of the subtle ways that sexism works. I found it absolutely fascinating, because I’m definitely someone who grew up with a very male-dominated playlist–I’ve been working to understand why and to be a fan of more female musicians. Anyway, read the discussion in this order:

- I Went To Your Concert and There Was Nothing Going On, or, A Meditation on Dude Music

- The World At Large: How Privilege works in Rock Music

- The center and the margins, and butt hurtness

* Rare Film of Ronald Reagan, James Dean Unearthed. Is it wrong that I kinda wanted to read a slash version of this after I watched it?

* Bowie Dance Ride in NYC today. “Participants are encouraged to dress up as their favorite Bowie character and pedal away, Ziggy Stardust–style.” Uh, seriously?

* Iron Man 2 tonight! I can’t wait. This whole Supernatural obsession was incredibly well-timed; it managed to prevent me from clicking any of the Iron Man 2 spoilers that have been all over my reading list this week. :)

* [personal profile] netweight recommended Conversational Winchester for Trolls by [info]eloise_bright and it is indeed awesome.

* I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge last night (exercise! fresh air!) and then went home and cooked a real dinner (roasted acorn stuffed with spinach cous cous and topped with toasted pine nuts). And then I sat down to watch Just One Episode of Supernatural. And… ended up watching four. So much for functioning like a sane person.

They were good! I enjoyed them. Maybe my previous feeling of disillusionment was just a fluke. Maybe by lowering my expectations I was better able to focus on what’s good. Maybe I was just saddened by the prospect of not staring at Jensen Ackles’ adorable freckles for the next two days, so I appreciated these episodes more.

My thoughts:

this is not actually about 4x11; it's about why I love the movie The Legend of Billie Jean )

this is actually about 4x12, and the worst line of dialog I've ever heard )

4x13 )

4x14 was really good! )

and another thing I like about Supernatural in general )

Originally published at You can comment here or there.

Suddenly I’m seeing Bowie references everywhere. Magazine covers, movie titles, on and on. It’s like when you learn a new word and suddenly you start noticing it at every turn.

The commentary on The Man Who Fell to Earth is awesome. I think this is the only time in my life I’ve wanted to listen to a DVD commentary again. It’s all really thoughtful–art as an attempt to connect with other human beings, the imperfect nature of it, the final product as a result of the interaction of the creative piece with the person interpreting it and bringing all of their opinions and experiences. Plus Bowie manages to predict Twitter… in 1992. It’s really quite nifty!

I’ve been thinking about how the music I’ve been listening to over the past few years has led to my ability to appreciate Bowie’s work, which I doubt I’d have gotten into at any earlier point in my life*. As my initial WTF reaction to Station to Station reveals, my musical horizons still have a lot of expanding to do, but at the same time I can directly trace my ability to appreciate various Bowie elements to the bands I’ve been into most recently.

* It’s also because Bowie is dark and complex but less outright angry than most of what I’ve been into in the past. I find I have increasingly less patience with white/masculine/teenage rage as time goes by. Oh, god, I’m getting old.

Common Rotation and Bowie's early folk music )

sidetrack: Saviour Machine )

PIG and generic experimentation )

the usual weird personal babble )

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Doctor/Master made it to the final Writercon face-off–yay! The winning ship will be featured in the Dirty Drabbles reading at Writercon ‘09. Go vote for our guys!


I think I’m just going to have to accept that I’ll never be one of those people with wide-ranging, eclectic artistic tastes. I’ve always fallen into the pattern of becoming completely and utterly obsessed with one thing and of wringing every last nuance of meaning out of it for years on end–and of not being able to get into anything else until I’m finished with it. Forcing myself to watch/listen to/read things that I’m not passionately interested in has just adamantly not worked. I’m twenty-six, and this tendency is showing no signs of change, so I guess I just have to go with it.

On the plus side, the stuff consuming my brain these days is better, and a lot more wide-ranging and eclectic within its own boundaries. I’ve been thinking up this whole post about how David Bowie is similar to Raymond Watts (in terms of incorporating diverse musical genres and experimenting) and how both are much more interesting than what I listened to in high school. I’m not going to write it, because I’m lazy and I don’t think anyone would read it, but it’s percolating in my brain in interesting ways.

(One is that it’s reflected in the ways Bowie has influenced the artists I grew up listening to. Marilyn Manson stole a lot from Bowie, in very obvious and uninteresting ways. I’m noticing places where Raymond Watts was inspired by Bowie too, but always in far more interesting ways than Manson. [But then everything Watts does is more interesting than Manson.] I also kind of want to do a picspam of “blatant things that Manson ripped off from Bowie,” because I’m mildly annoyed that I grew up admiring a lot of things in Manson that he stole without really even putting his own unique mark on them. I have the weirdest relationship with Manson’s work–a lot of fond nostalgia for his concerts and genuine musical respect for Antichrist Superstar and Mechanical Animals, but a lot of disgust and irritation for his limitations as a musician and as a human being.)


I watched the movie Human Traffic this weekend, because I wanted to return it to Netflix so that I can get Labyrinth. (I want to see Labyrinth again because I’m wondering if I’ll finally like it. My dislike goes back to being five and hating muppets, so perhaps things have changed. Plus everyone says Bowie is ultra-hot in this movie and yet I have never seen the hotness. So we’ll see.)

vague Human Traffic spoilers )


Methos' first Highlander episode )


In pursuit of non-embarrassing David Bowie icons (not sure if I'm there, or if such a thing is even possible--I feel that there's kind of an inherently embarrassing teenage girl thing about LJ icons), I've come across lots of images from the film The Man Who Fell To Earth. Which I'm not sure I want to see--it sounds like something that's better in screencaps than it would be if I actually had to sit down and watch it--but then again, the icons are so pretty I'm kind of feeling like maybe it's necessary. I'll put it after Labyrinth in my Netflix queue, though based on my history it'll probably sit unwatched next to my DVD player for six months. Good thing I switched to the cheapest Netflix plan.

Also, OMG, icon makers, a link is not a fake cut! It's just a link! (And a drabble is exactly 100 words! And you damn kids get off my lawn!)

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* Neil Gaiman continues to be awesome. See Why Defend Freedom of Icky Speech?

* I’m lurking at [info]theemptywriter and quite enjoying it. Nice to see that not everyone is caught up in the Moffat hype! And, man, he just continues to annoy the hell out of me. Here he is in 1996 calling the Doctor’s female companions “bimbos”; what, did I need another reason to loathe him?

* This list of top movie characters is currently making the news rounds. Only one woman in the top 25? Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, what about that “huge lack of respect for anything male” that tragically inflicts our society? (Could it be that Steven Moffat is … full of shit? :P) And… and… Yoda is a better character than Princess Leia???

* Scott Weiland has a new album. How come nobody told me this? His last solo album was actually really good! Hopefully this’ll make up for the entertaining-but-soulless artificiality of his work with Velvet Revolver.

I’m still getting used to this whole thing of enjoying someone’s music but not having any particular interest or respect for them as a person. I think I’m too old and cynical to worship all-perfect musical idols, and this way it’s less disappointing when they inevitably fall. I’ll just try to enjoy them when they’re good and move on to something else when they start to suck. No need to feel all heartbroken and/or betrayed by the whole thing. (I’m even starting to get over Courtney Love’s Hollywood sell-out; none of her later bullshit can take away from the pure awesome of Live Through This.)

* I’m still listening nonstop to David Bowie. The song “Velvet Goldmine” is really, really good. (Now I’m extra disappointed that the movie was so bad.) Wikipedia says the song is about Bowie making out with another man, but I’m listening to the lyrics, and… that sounds like a lot more than making out…?

Also, if you’re ever looking for motivation to weep for the state of humanity, just go to and look up your favorite song. If the inanity of the interpretations doesn’t make you want to kill yourself, I don’t know what will.

* This ad is currently plastered all over the NYC subway system. Every time I walk by I kind of have to resist the urge to stop and, I don’t know, lick it maybe? Which, eww, NYC subway. But, damn. David Bowie was reeeeeally pretty once.

pretty pretty subway ad )
Current Mood: weird emoticon weird

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I’ve been hibernating. Or, avoiding the internet, anyway. Moving servers turned out to be a huge pain in the ass and it still seems like a total crapshoot as to whether my websites will actually work on any given day. Kind of pointless to post an entry when I’m not sure if anyone will be able to see it or respond. I’m pissed at the server company, but sick of wasting time dealing with it.

So, here’s a post, which may or may not work. :P

A summary of my life in media over the past two weeks:

* I saw Twilight. My god. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.

spoilers for Twilight )

* I'm thinking about seeing Milk. It looks really good and historically interesting, but Sean Penn's gigantic hulking ego makes me cringe. I'm not sure I can take it.

* I'm thinking about seeing Valkyrie. It looks historically interesting and I'm very fond of Bryan Singer (X2 is still my favorite superhero movie ever, with Iron Man a close second), but Tom Cruise's ego and presumptuousness offend me even more than Sean Penn's.

* I went to see the Cruxshadows on Thanksgiving Eve. I got there at 11:45pm and they didn't go on for another hour. Damn Pyramid Club. Luckily my new phone has internet so I read marzipan until they came on.

The Cruxshadows may be ridiculously cheesy and overly sincere, but they sure put on a hell of a show. I was crying at the end. How often do you see a band playing to a packed crowd who invites their fans onstage at the end and stays up there afterward hugging every single person who wants a hug?

* I started listening to a bunch of old David Bowie albums while I was cooking for Thanksgiving, and, oh my god, you guys, why didn't anyone tell me that David Bowie used to be this awesome??? I've had The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars on repeat all weekend. I mean, I was vaguely aware that Bowie had once been good, but all I knew was the guy with the bulge from Labyrinth and the skinny old guy who toured with NIN in the 90s. I didn't realize he'd done something this passionate and creative and amazing. I can't even articulate my response; I just want to listen to it again and again.

Although, one of the really interesting things is to pick out all the Bowie influences on the bands I grew up listening to. I can see Nirvana, and Alice in Chains, and, dude, Marilyn Manson should be paying this guy royalties. And it's fascinating how it seems to straddle this boundary between 60s and 70s music and culture, idealism and disillusionment...

Anyway. Must listen more.

* I re-read The Disorderly Knights, the third book in Dorothy Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles. I think it's my second favorite, after the first, A Game of Kings.

spoilers for The Lymond Chronicles )

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* They found the lost scenes from Metropolis! I cannot wait to see this in the theater. The entire film! *squee*

* Biologist totally pwns creationist. Awesome.

* I’ve been listening non-stop to PJ Harvey, Portishead, Hole, Jack Off Jill, Tapping the Vein, Juliette and the Licks, Garbage… pretty much anything edgy with a female vocalist. PJ Harvey’s early stuff is so raw and amazing, and Portishead Live at Roseland is the best live CD I’ve ever heard. (I bought their new one but um, switched back to Live at Roseland after about two listens.)

* I just checked [info]fandom_wank and, wow, I knew there was a reason I’d taken [info]doctorwho and [info]ihasatardis off my flist. Sheesh. And this is just the lead-up; god only knows what wankstorm the finale will unleash.

* I’ve been so absurdly busy this week that I still haven’t had a chance to re-watch “The Stolen Earth.” I’ve seen it once, in two parts with ten hours in between, while exhausted and drunk off my ass, and with a friend screaming in my ear every two minutes. I think I might skip Coney Island tomorrow and stay home to watch Doctor Who again. Yes, I know, I’m weird. But I haven’t had a day to myself since last Friday, and I need to recharge before my Doctor Who finale party on Saturday. (I have friends coming after all! Woohoo!) And I need to make more cupcakes… I’m thinking Rum Raisin and another batch of Banana Split….

* This day in LJ history:

    * 2007: I was listening to the new Velvet Revolver album and getting excited for the upcoming Velvet Revolver/Alice in Chains tour.
    * 2006: I was (BIG SURPRISE!) bitching about an evil roommate who wouldn’t pay her rent and was mean to my cat. And I was excited to see Chemlab in DC the next day.
    * 2005: I was in the grip of a horrible, horrible crush. This is about the time I developed my aversion to tequila. The less said, the better.
    * 2004: I was going to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in IMAX over and over and over, squeeing about Remus and Sirius, re-reading the Harry Potter books, and looking forward to Writercon 2004.
    * 2003: I was trapped on the cheap crappy crumbling CRUISE OF DOOM with my parents and brother, resolving never to vacation with my family ever again and desperately missing my Spike website. On the plus side, I was reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the very first time.

Current Mood: busy emoticon busy & tired emoticon tired

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Did you know that you can buy DRM-free MP3s from (At least, thirty-seconds of Googling indicated that they’re DRM-free. They’d better be.)

I discovered this because I suddenly had this overwhelming need to hear the song “Great Big White World” from Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals (I have no idea why; my brain is weird). I own two copies of this album on vinyl and one on audio cassette, but I have neither a record player nor a cassette player anymore.

I’m not up on the latest MP3 pirating sites, so I went to Amazon thinking I’d buy the CD and have it in a few days. Instead, I clicked the MP3 download option and got it instantly for $.99. That’s… kind of awesome.

And… now I think I’ll go buy the whole album. I forgot how amazing it is. I’m always listening to Antichrist Superstar but as I get older (and start to understand more of the Bowie references) I’m realizing that Mechanical Animals is at least as good. It’s dreamier and more thoughtful and full of such beautiful creative imagery and infused with such sadness.

I always think of Manson as having gone downhill after Antichrist Superstar, but now I’m thinking it was after Mechanical Animals, because in retrospect this is clearly part of his/their creative height. I think it just didn’t work as well for me at the time because I was still caught up in the teenage angst/scary transformation/anti-religion/anti-conservative culture Antichrist Superstar themes. This is more of an adult album about dealing with the wider world, I think, and about reflecting on who you’ve become.

One of my favorite concert memories is Easter 1999 in Philadelphia, sixteen-year-old me alone in the mosh pit, with Manson playing this song and shiny glittering confetti raining from the ceiling. It was so beautiful. I still have bits of the confetti in a box somewhere along with my concert ticket.

Current Mood: weird emoticon weird

Originally published at Please click here to comment.

I went to see Chris Cornell last night. It turned out to be one of the most amazing shows I've ever seen.

I'm a huge Soundgarden fan--I grew up with "Badmotorfinger" and "Superunknown"--but I figured he'd be playing solo stuff and Audioslave stuff and maybe grace us with one of two Soundgarden songs. But...

He opened with "Let Me Drown" (from "Superunknown") and followed it up with "Outshined" (from "Badmotorfinger") so I was ecstatic and knew that it was going to be a great show.

the (INCREDIBLE) setlist )

Four from "Badmotorfinger"! Three from "Superunknown" (including "Let Me Drown" which wasn't a big hit and I'd never have expected to hear live)! Two from "Down on the Upside"! And "Say Hello to Heaven," which is from "Temple of the Dog"!! I cried through the whole song.

His voice was absolutely astounding and he was in such great spirits. He kept joking with the audience and laughing and telling stories about the songs. Then he brought out his two young children and kept them onstage with him for an entire song. It was adorable and so sweet. I've been a fan of his for um... 13 years! ... so it was wonderful to see him so happy. And it translated into an amazing performance and the whole room was just filled with the most incredible energy.

At the end, it was so cool to walk out of the venue and find myself surrounded by people in Soundgarden and Pearl Jam t-shirts. It was like traveling back in time. That was my era! (Yes, I know I was 12, but it was still my era. I love that music the way you can only love something that you fall for as a child and grow up being shaped by.)

There are some great photos down in this forum thread.

Unfortunately I missed the opening band, which was Juliette and the Licks. I arrived late and didn't realize that it was Juliette Lewis! But I did get to meet her and got her CD signed by her. I loved her singing in the movie "Strange Days" (one of my all time favorites) and she's been in a bunch of other movies I've liked as well ("From Dusk Till Dawn," "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"). So I'll definitely have to catch her on tour next time....

Oh yeah, and in other good news: the reports coming back from San Diego Comic Con sound amazing. I'm so excited about Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man.

And the "Indiana Jones 4" panel sounded awesome. They're bringing back Marion! I loved Karen Allen in that role and I never thought they'd have the guts to bring her back.

Oh yeah, and I finally saw "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" in IMAX 3D. It was so cool--it felt like you were IN the Department of Mysteries during the final scene. And I love how IMAX lets you see every little detail. I want to go again! (And again and again...)

I realized that I hadn't posted about the movie at all (I saw it the first time a while ago, on opening night). I like it a lot. It's still not as good at the third one, but it's far better than the others. It felt true to the characters and story. And, though I'm annoyed with a few little cuts (Lily in the flashback; Snape, Sirius, and Remus interacting) I'm impressed with how much of the plot they managed to keep. The story flowed well and Daniel Radfcliffe is turning into quite an actor. I loved Luna and Bellatrix and Umbridge; they did an amazing job with the casting. And Jason Isaacs continues to kick ass as Lucius; I'm glad he was so prominent in this one. (I don't even need to say how awesome Gary Oldman and Alan Rickman are, do I?) The only one I continue to dislike is Michael Gambon, who captures Dumbledore's ruthlessness and but totally misses his sense of whimsy. Minor quibbles.

Anyway, yes. Must see it again....
I couldn't resist this one. Even if no one guesses, I had fun doing it.

Anyway, music meme!

The rules:

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 20 songs that play
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly

Most of these are pretty easy, actually. There are only a couple of obscure/underground songs here (and also one song that I'm horribly embarrassed about--guess which!).

1. The grabbing hands grab all they can / All for themselves / After all it's a competitive world
([ profile] bogwitch - Depeche Mode, Everything Counts)

2. Repentance won't alter the course / There's no escape from myself

3. Minutes slowly turn to hours / Another moment passes by / Seconds of eternity / I wonder if it's time to say goodbye

4. I want to fly / I want to run / I want to hide from you / Then I want to crawl back and lie down and hold on to you
([ profile] cluegirl - Tapping the Vein, The Ledge)

5. The killer in me is the killer in you / My love I send this smile over to you
(This is sort of a trick, because it's a goth/industrial cover of a mainstream song)
([ profile] bogwitch - Disarm - this was originally by the Smashing Pumpkins, but the version on my playlist is a cover by 16 Volt vs. Spahn Ranch)

6. Each day I can feel it swallow, inside something took from me
([ profile] chenanceou - Korn, Got the Life)

7. You may think that I'm out of hand / That I'm naive, I'll understand / On this occasion, it's not true / Look at me, I'm not you
([ profile] judithiscariot - New Order, Regret)

8. Got a gun, fact I got two / That's okay, man, 'cause I love god
([ profile] pickinguproses - Glorified G, Pearl Jam)

9. A fool could see just how much you adore me / Get down on your knees and do anything for me
(This is another cover of a famous song by a goth/industrial band.)
([ profile] buffyx - I Touch Myself - originally by The DiVinyls, covered by the Genitorturers)

10. This is the noise that keeps me awake / My head explodes and my body aches
([ profile] amerella - Garbage, Push It)

11. When summer fades to silence / When winter's still a dream

12. Am I wrong? / Have I run too far too get home? / Have I gone and left you here alone?
([ profile] doyle_sb4 - Alice in Chains, Would?)

13. You know nothing about me / I know all about you

14. And I don't want to be part of your world / And I don't want to see the things you see

15. Tame me with your tenderness and break my brittle heart / Easily and elegantly tear my world apart
([ profile] voodoo_in_tx - Depeche Mode, Surrender)

16. The sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me / Well I want to wrap it up and swim in it until I drown
([ profile] cluegirl - Nine Inch Nails, The Only Time)

17. Be a good girl like you're supposed to / Dominate your fears

18. It's all ending / I gotta stop pretending who we are
([ profile] kbk - No Doubt, Don't Speak)

19. Walks on his own, with thoughts he can't help thinking / Future's above, but in the past he's slow and sinking
([ profile] pickinguproses - Nothingman, Pearl Jam)

20. Fail to see the tragic, turn it into magic / My big top tricks will always make you happy / But we all know the hat is wearing me
([ profile] bogwitch - Marilyn Manson, Dope Hat)


Oct. 13th, 2004 01:44 pm
I haven't been reading LJ, um, pretty much at all, lately. (Profuse apologies, please don't hate me, etc.)

warning: maudlin rambling; this is what happens when I don't have an all-consuming obsession to distract me )
I was debating whether or not to post this, because it's that wanky and overly-sincere little kid side of me that I'm trying not to be. Also, it was written quickly and is unedited, plus it probably won't interest a single person on my friends list. But hey, why not post? It's not like I'm forcing anyone to read it.

So. Lately I just seem to be bopping around between one interest and the next, without any real focus. This annoys me, as I greatly prefer to be totally and completely immersed in one thing. It's like with friends--I'd rather have a couple very close friends than a ton of friendly acquaintances.

I do realize that this rather limits my range of knowledge, but the tradeoff is that when I know something, I really know it. And I just prefer that.

Which is why, having surfaced from my two-year immersion in the Buffyverse, I'm somewhat at loose ends. There was that Methos period, where I was watching every Methos episode of Highlander, reading every interview with Peter Wingfield, watching every DVD-extra, and so on. Then the "Song of Ice and Fire" period, where I was re-reading the books several times and trying desperately to find *some* kind of intelligent discussion of Jaime Lannister's redemption story. Then the Sirius/Remus period, where I was watching "The Prisoner of Azkaban" regularly, re-reading the books, and reading every bit of fanfic I could get my hands on. Also the Common Rotation period, where I was listening to their records over and over and downloading live shows and everything. And then over the past week I've been catching up with what is pretty much my all-time favorite band, Alice in Chains, who I've loved since I was 11 and, unlike the other bands I loved back then, never really stopped listening to and relating to.

It's weird, because I wouldn't have expected them to be the one that stuck with me longest. I loved Nirvana most, but it seemed like after a certain point in my life, the music just lost emotional resonance for me personally. I respect their music, but I haven't really had the desire to listen to them since, oh, 1997? Pearl Jam, I think, just moved on to a different stage of life, and I still love them, but I'm not there. I suspect that at some point in the future I'll pick up some of their later records and enjoy them immensely, but now is not the time. Soundgarden was also great, but aside from the brilliance that was "Superunknown," they seemed (to me) to be somewhat lacking in emotional depth.

But Alice in Chains? I've never really stopped listening to them for very long. "Dirt," especially, is a record that I've been playing on a fairly regular basis ever since I first heard it at age 11. It's probably my favorite record of all time.

lots of babbling about Alice in Chains, what they meant to me, why I loved them, my interpretations of lyrics, and a song-by-song review of Dirt )
Some positive stuff I did over the break )

What I didn't do was anything online, including reading fanfic and updating my site. So I'm going to work on that now. Or, um, since it's 3:45am, maybe tomorrow.
Today is so strange.

I got all Gothed out for Halloween. I couldn't help it; it's my favorite holiday. Everyone at work looked at me weird. It's sort of a toned-down Goth, though, but still. Stands out. No one else even dressed up, and my boss forgot it was Halloween. How can you forget Halloween!?

Workmen are drilling outside, very, very loudly, and almost in our office. They're redoing the front of the building, right outside our windows (and one wall of our office is all windows). I mean they're so close that you can see the workman's butt crack when he leans over to drill--he's about six feet away from me. It's so loud that it's impossible to talk, so my boss (who's usually really picky about this stuff) told us that we could get headphones and listen to music to drown it out. So I'm listening to the Cruxshadows' album Wishfire at top volume to drown out the drilling.

This is an unbelievably brilliant record. Everyone should go buy it now (try amazon or isotank). This band is just so smart and thoughtful and creative and interesting. I never hear this kind of thing on the radio anymore; music that's really innovative and lyrics that actually make you both think and feel. They're so interesting; they incorporate lots of mythology (esp Greek and Egyptian), various literary sources (Poe, Lewis Caroll, etc), all these ideas about maintaining your individuality and how to survive in a conformist society, as well as the usual love and relationship type songs. There's real heart and real passion and real hope in this music. I mean real, not the pre-packaged bullshit that you get from MTV and the radio.

The song I'm currently obsessed with is Resist/R, which you should be able to get from Kazaa or other file-sharing places. If you want to try some of their other music, everything on Wishfire is great. Tears is very powerful. Go Away and Return (Coming Home) are slower, if you're into quieter music. And not from this record, but a wonderful song and probably their biggest hit, is Marilyn, My Bitterness, which is totally heart-wrenching. Some other good ones are Eurydice, Leave Me Alone, Cruelty, Heaven's Gaze, Love/Tragedy ... well, lots. Also, since these guys are not on a major record label, if you like what you hear, please do buy the actual records as well.

Their official site, where you can find out more about the band, is, btw. (No, I wasn't paid to write this. I really just haven't felt this strongly about music in a very long time.) Also, they're playing Philadelphia tonight (alas, I'm not going) and NYC tomorrow (I'm definitely going). And they're playing the east coast all month, so check out their list of tourdates here. I first saw them in ... 2000? 2001? with Uranium 235 in this tiny club in Connecticut, and since then I've seen them several more times (most recently at DragonCon). They put on an amazing live show, especially because they're so interactive with the audience (their singer, Rogue, comes into the crowd and sings as he walks around, and climbs on balconys and stuff).

I've also realized how much I miss listening to albums. There's just something more powerful and real about listening to the whole record, in the order intended, that you miss when you download MP3s and listen to them out of order. Most albums have a unifying concept, a theme, a progression; the songs and ideas relate to each other in different ways. You get more out of the experience by listening to the full record; if you're just listening to MP3s, you're missing something. I'm so dependent on MP3s now that I don't even own a CD player, but I'm thinking I really ought to buy one.

Oh yeah, and happy Halloween, everyone. I still haven't been able to catch up with my friends' list; I feel so out-of-touch! But I did archive some Halloween stories today; check out the All About Spike homepage for the list. And don't miss the list of stories that [ profile] wiseacress is compiling.
Meme copied from [ profile] anniesj

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
1. You know, I kind of liked that first Britney Spears hit when she was in the school girl outfit ... "Hit Me Baby One More Time" or something like that? I'm usually not embarrassed by what I like, but I'll make an exception and be embarrassed by that.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
1. "Long Gone Day" by Mad Season
2. "Down in a Hole" by Alice in Chains

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
1. "Sin" by Nine Inch Nails
2. "Bleed My Disease" by Uranium 235
3. "Barrel of a Gun" by Depeche Mode

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
1. "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins (I know the lyrics are depressing, but the music is upbeat)
2. "Dam that River" by Alice in Chains (it includes the line "I hit you with a rake"; how can that not cheer you up?)
3. "Stimulation" by Uranium 235
4. "Sliver" by Nirvana

(This was hard! I don't listen to cheery music.)

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
There's no way I can just choose songs, so I'm going to break the rules and choose albums instead.
1. "Dirt" by Alice in Chains
2. "In Utero" by Nirvana
3. "The Downward Spiral" by NIN
4. "Vs" by Pearl Jam
5. "Superunknown" by Soundgarden

(Did I stop listening to music in 1994 or what?)

I blog about fannish things. Busy with work so don't update often. Mirrored at

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