Halfway Through Pawn in Frankincence…

[rusty_halo]

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I’m halfway through Pawn in Frankincense and thinking….

It's incredibly obvious to me which kid is which. I don't understand how there's controversy over this. Kuzum just made his first appearance running through peach jam (Joleta was frequently compared to apricots) and is described as stocky and muscular (like Gabriel) and with little teeth (like Joleta). Meanwhile there's a direct parallel between the scene where Jerott meets Khaireddin and flings him away in horror after smelling his perfume and realizing he's trying to kiss him, and the scene where Jerott smells the Aga Morat's perfume on Lymond and then violently pushes him away. I realize that in real life this wouldn't be conclusive evidence, but in a book that the author has specifically structured, it's clear which child is associated with which parents.

I think the most interesting thing about re-reading this book is picking up on all the clues about why Lymond makes the choice he does at the end. I'm on... I think page 232? and there's a half page of Lymond POV, which I think is the first time we get into Lymond's head in the whole book. And he's thinking that you can't blame Gabriel's child for its parentage, and that either child has the potential to grow into a good adult. I think that's the noble side of Lymond's decision--his refusal to hold Kuzum responsible for Gabriel's evil. Well, that and he'd rather suffer than let Philippa suffer, so he chooses to kill the child whose death will hurt him more than her. And then there's the practical side to his decision--he's the one who will most mourn Khaireddin and he expects to die after the chess game anyway. Plus Kuzum has been loved and treated well while Khaireddin has been abandoned and abused--Lymond chooses the child with the most potential to grow up into a sane, functional adult.

And then there's also the self-hating aspect to his decision. Recent events have played up the self-loathing he already struggles with: he blames himself for Oonagh's horrible death, was basically forced into non-consensual sex with the Aga Morat to protect his friends (the fact that he chops off his hair afterward is really telling--and Jerott doesn't help by responding with judgment and disgust), and his discovery of Marthe's existence casts doubt on his family and his parentage. By the chess game, he considers himself repulsive and corrupt and wants to die. I'm not sure if he sees killing Khaireddin as a way of punishing himself, or of protecting Khaireddin from a future like his own. I sort of think it's because Lymond himself is longing for death at this point and sees it as a a way of freeing Khaireddin from his suffering. Like, because Lymond himself is so miserable, he can't picture any possible future for Khaireddin other than continuing misery. Not that I think Lymond wants to kill Khaireddin--obviously it's the most devastating decision he makes in his life. But I do think that Lymond's self-loathing is a factor in his choice to kill his own child instead of Gabriel's, along with the noble and practical reasons mentioned above.

It's fascinating--I sort of see it in a similar way as the Doctor's decision to erase Donna's memory in "Journey's End." Mostly it's both noble and practical--he's doing what he has to to save his dear friend's life. But on another level I do think, after Davros' "you turn your friends into monsters" spiel, the Doctor also feels that Donna will be better off without ever having known him.

Anyway. I'm really enjoying the re-read. I just got past the part where Jerott confesses his love to Marthe, and she responds by claiming that he's just transferring his repressed feelings for Lymond to her and then revealing Lymond's affair with the Aga Morat, and then Lymond responds by grabbing her and kissing her, knowing full well that it's probably incest. How freaking awesome was that scene? (Although Jerott's naivety continues to annoy the hell out of me.)

I'm feeling a lot more sympathetic to Marthe this time around--she strives for more but never really gets over the loneliness and bitterness at the core of her being. And her function in the story is so interesting, as she parallels both Lymond and Khaireddin. She grew up unloved and unwanted--she's basically what Khaireddin would grow up to be and is what Lymond would have been without Sybilla. Which sort of sheds more light on the part of the story I struggle most with, which is how much of the series is driven by Lymond's terror of finding out that he's illegitimate. From a modern perspective, it's so hard to feel the depth of why the hell that even matters to him. I can understand not wanting to find out that his mom slept around, or even worse, that she's not his mom at all, because she's the person he admires and trusts most in the world. But it's harder to understand the fear of not belonging anywhere, of not having a place in the world, just because of the marital status of your parents. Marthe as a character highlights that, though, because her whole defining trait is bitterness that she doesn't belong and has no place in the world, because of her birth.

And then the fight between Lymond and Gabriel in the water outside of Zuara--I think that's my favorite scene of the book. I love the way Lymond keeps his cool in the preceding conversation because there's nothing he could possibly say to tear down someone as evil as Gabriel. And the way Gabriel ribs him, just finally let his pure sadistic evil run unchecked, concluding with the revelation that Kuzum is his son with Joleta. And then the way Lymond surprises him, and Gabriel realizes once again that Lymond is better than he thought, and the whole underwater fight to the death, and that Lymond very nearly drowns and would have died if not for Jerott, and that the Aga Morat lets them go. And that Lymond was fully prepared to die if it meant also killing Gabriel, and I sort of wonder if he'd have preferred it, although when he recovers he immediately makes it his business to save the children. And the way Dunnett writes is so vivid, the soldiers on the shore, the sun rising, Gabriel floating with his wrists cut and Lymond drifting underwater.

I'm so glad I'm re-reading this--it really is completely different the second time around.

Current Mood: thoughtful

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