Meta: Supernatural 1×05-1×07

[rusty_halo]

Previously: 1×02-1×04

1x05: Bloody Mary

Sam wakes up from a nightmare about Jess. Dean notices and cares: "Sooner or later, we're going to have to talk about this." Dean naturally falls into the big brother/pseudo-parent role with Sam.

I forgot about Sam's nightmares, how prominent the loss of Jess was to his early development. In a way Sam is going through now what Dean went through as a child--they both had a taste of a "normal," safe, healthy life, and both had it torn away from them. They really do understand each other better than "outsiders" can--not just because they both know about monsters, but because they know about loss.

Dean: Dude, I earned that money.

Sam: You won it in a poker game.

Dean: Yeah.

I don't think it even occurs to Dean how abnormal their life is. The farther Sam gets from his brief foray into the real world, the more his scruples disappear, too.

Dean tries to bullshit their way in to see the corpse; Sam gets them in with bribery. Sam really is a lot better at the part of their job that involves dealing with human beings.

Lily blaming herself for her father's death is an obvious parallel with Sam blaming himself for Jessica's. (Of course, it kind of is both their faults, but not in any way they could have been aware of.)

The scene where Bloody Mary chases Charlie through the mirrors and appears in the reflection on her teacher's glasses is effectively creepy. *shudders*

Boys, the correct response to Charlie's story about her psycho boyfriend is not to stare blankly, it's "He was obviously unstable, you're better off without him, and his passive-aggressive suicide was in no way your fault." Grrrr.

Sam: [Bloody Mary will] come after me.

Dean: All right, you know what? That's it. *pulls over * This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret, that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night, it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me--I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place.

Sam: I don't blame you.

Dean: Well you shouldn't blame yourself. There's nothing you could have done.

This is one of those times where it's really apparent how much Dean loves Sam, how much he notices and cares what's going on with him, and wants to be there to protect and support him. Definitely a big brother moment. And I love his whole "Blame me!" thing. Dean would take all of Sam's suffering onto himself if he could.

Dean adamantly objects to Sam's plan to risk himself, but Sam insists for Charlie's sake. I wonder how much is about protecting Charlie and how much is about Sam punishing himself.

Sam tells Dean not to call him "Sammy." Yeah, like that's going to take.

Dean (re: all the broken mirrors): This has got to be, what, 600 years of bad luck?

Dean, you have no idea. :(

Sam finally does tell Charlie that her boyfriend's death wasn't her fault. Of course, it's really all about Sam forgiving himself for what happened to Jess.

Sam: Look, you're my brother, and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.

A healthy attitude in general, Sam, but in this instance you really ought to just talk to your damn brother. This is the first of many secrets Sam keeps about his powers from Dean. You can see why, that he needs his independence and that he's afraid, at the same time as you want to shake him and tell him to be honest already. This isn't the sort of thing Sam should be trying to figure out alone--Dean knowing could only help in terms of figuring out what it means and how to deal with it.

Bechdel test: It passes! But just barely: Donna and Lily talk about Donna having been out late, and Charlie and Jill and later Charlie and Donna talk about saying "Bloody Mary" in the mirror. There are also several other conversations between women in this episode, but they're all about men. :(

1x06: Skin

Shapeshifter!Dean: It's funny, I kinda understand [the real Dean]. He's all alone. Close to no one. All he wants is for someone to love him.

This is the first episode that really digs into the dark side of Dean's psyche, and oooh, what a delightful mess it is: manipulative, insecure, needy, and self-hating. (It's never a good sign when a serial killer thinks you have a lot in common.)

Sam: What am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?

Dean: *shrugs*

Sam: You're serious?

Dean: Look, it sucks, but a job like this, you can't get close to people, period.

Sam: You're kind of antisocial, you know that?

You don't say, Sam.

Dean: You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they'd be freaked. It's just, it'd be easier--

Sam: If I was like you.

Dean: Hey man, like it or not, we are not like other people. But I'll tell you one thing--this whole gig, it ain't without perks. *pulls out gun*

Okay, Dean, that's not creepy at all.

This episode is definitely highlighting Dean's darker, more antisocial qualities in order to draw parallels between him and the shapeshifter. It starts with Dean trying to isolate Sam from his friends, insisting that Sam shouldn't even try to maintain relationships with anyone outside the family. Of course, this is quickly revealed to be driven by insecurity caused by Dean's fear of abandonment, a perfectly legit fear given that his mom died and his father and brother did abandon him.

These scenes also hint at the same darkness in Dean that we got a peek at in 1x02, when he said that violence makes his life "bearable." There is something scarydarkviolent in Dean, something really antisocial, but in fairness to Dean, he's pretty much always able to channel it toward hunting monsters, dangerous creatures who really do deserve to be killed. But that darkness is there and is dangerous--it's the side of Dean that was so seduced by Gordon, the side he was afraid of when he envisioned himself as a demon, the side he let out when torturing Meg in 1x22 and later when he became a torturer in hell.

I get the sense that a lot of Dean's self-loathing comes from the fact that he is aware of the darkness in himself, and is afraid of it. (I also think that nearly everyone has this sort of dark side, but it's closer to the surface in Dean because of his shitty upbringing. Ironically Sam's darkness ends up being the bigger threat, and for a very long time Dean's not even able to acknowledge the darkness in Sam.)

Dean clearly loves Sam, but how much of that love is about Sam's best interest and how much is about Dean's need? Isolating Sam from his friends is not healthy for Sam. I'm not trying to say that Dean is totally bad here, because actually the plot is driven by Dean caving to Sam, driving 400 miles out of his way, pretending to be a detective, and getting up at 5:30am(!!), all to investigate a case he doesn't even think is supernatural, all because Sammy wants him to.

(Dean definitely has a thing about trying to control Sam, but is himself also easily and consensually manipulated by Sam, because they both know Dean will give Sam pretty much anything Sam wants.)

Once the shapeshifter gets into Dean's head we learn for the first time how much Dean is jealous of Sam, wishes he'd had the chance Sam had to live his own life, and both resents Sam for not obeying their father and resents himself for obeying their father, for missing out on the chance for his own life.

Shapeshifter!Dean: He's sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay at home. I mean, I had to stay home, with Dad. You don't think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where were you? [...] You see, deep down, I'm just jealous. You've got friends. You could have a life. Me, I know I'm a freak. And sooner or later, everybody's going to leave me. [...] You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked and he ditched me, too. No explanation, just left me with your sorry ass.

(I don't think this show is going to win any awards for subtlety, but it definitely wins at emo porn.)

If I made a Dean Winchester mix tape, this song would be on it.

The shapeshifter gives the darkest possible interpretation of Dean, but it's all stuff that's really there, under the surface. (The fact that he then goes off to kill Becky is particularly disturbing, given the womanizing and low-level sexism we've seen from Dean so far. Of course, the shapeshifter tortures and kills women in sexualized ways no matter what form it takes, so we could also just say that it comes from the shapeshifter's psychology and has nothing to do with Dean's. I think that might be wishful thinking, though.)

Dean's self-hatred is really apparent in the look on his face when he shoots the shapeshifter who's taken his form; I saw that episode of BtVS, I know what it means when you beat up yourself. (Of course, it's also that the shapeshifter was attacking Sam, which... really is not the smartest thing to do around Dean Winchester. Still, Dean shoots him in cold blood, after he's let go of Sam.)

Also--the first of many times we see Dean die on screen. (Though here it's not actually Dean.)

Becky: It must be lonely.

Sam: No, it's not so bad. Anyway, what can I do? It's my family.

So for all Sam's protests to Dean, here he is parrotting Dean's words to Becky. As much as he argues, he does internalize of lot of what Dean tells him. Dean's shaped him from childhood--his words are bound to have a huge effect on Sam. In retrospect, this episode is something of a turning point in Sam's emotional journey--he hasn't let go of his hopes for a normal life yet, but he's drifting farther from his old friends and closer to Dean.

And as the boys ride off together, away from Sam's college friends and chance for a normal life:

Dean: Sorry, man.

Sam: About what?

Dean: I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be Joe College.

Sam: That's okay. The truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.

Dean: Well, that's because you're a freak.

Sam; Yeah, thanks.

Dean: Well, I'm a freak, too. I'm right there with you all the way.

Sam: Yeah, I know you are.

Good god, the codependency! It's just not healthy for Sam to give up on his chance of living a normal life, to isolate himself from his old friends and rely only on Dean. And it's clear that Dean clings to him and needs him to an unhealthy degree, and is encouraging Sam's isolation from others so that Dean can have him closer. And yet at the same time, it's so apparent here how much Dean loves Sam, really does wish he could have a happy normal life, and really does want to reassure and support him with the fact that Dean will always be there for him.

This theme comes up again in 1x18, when Dean wishes Sam could still be innocent. The problem for Dean is that Sam can't have a happy safe life and be a hunter with Dean, so Dean's always going to be conflicted about whether he wants Sam safe or Sam with him.

I love the use of Filter's "Hey Man Nice Shot." *misses the 90s* Opening with "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is also very effective. Whoever chose the music for this one gets an A+.

Dean teases Sam about wearing womens' underwear. I guess we find out in season five just why this particular image pops into Dean's head.

Sam recognizes immediately that the shapeshifter isn't Dean. A precusor to 1x22, when Dean recognizes that John is possessed. This family knows each other ridiculously well.

So, it doesn't seem like being a serial killer is inherently connected to being a shapeshifter--this particularly shapeshifter just happens to have serious psychological problems. Are there plenty of other shapeshifters out there living under the radar, and we only notice them when they do something bad?

This episode marks the first time we get extended shots of shirtless Dean, and it's for a gross shapeshifting scene. No fair.

I was worried that Dean's "death" would be forgotten in subsequent episodes--good on them for keeping the continuity.

Bechdel test: No.

1x07: Hookman

Man, they're really pulling out the horror movie tropes.

They're mostly alternating Sam and Dean focused episodes--this is a Sam-focused one, so I care less. The thing that struck me most in this one was the end, in which Dean offers that maybe Sam should stay with the girl he's made a connection with, and it's Sam who chooses to keep moving forward. Hey, never let it be said that Dean's the only fucked up one in this relationship. Actually it's interesting how much Dean goes back and forth, how much his love for Sam sometimes really is a generous, selfless love that wants the best for Sam, and then sometimes it is needy and clingy and just wants Sam close to him regardless of what's best for Sam.

Also, Dean fits in well as a frat boy. Anyone have a list of odd social positions Dean fits into surprisingly well? Prisoner, gym teacher, PA on a film set...

Bechdel test: Yes, just barely again: Laurie and her roommate talk about Laurie's outfit, and later her roommate encourages her to have fun with her life.

Next: 1x08-1x10

Originally published at rusty-halo.com. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[rivkat]

I don't have much to say, other than that I am enjoying the retrospective! I love the idea of Dean as the one who likes and easily connects with individual people but has no use for humanity, and Sam, despite his surface ease in many situations, is as always the opposite. Dean is good at fitting in in situations where roles are clear and favors can be done; Sam is better about bluffing with power.

This is actually wonderful for me because I was feeling somewhat dismayed by the season finale, and you are helping me reconnect.

[rusty_halo]

Thank you! I'm happy you're enjoying the retrospective. I'm having a ridiculous amount of fun writing it--this show has just the right balance of depth, shallowness, epic moments of awesome, epic moments of failure, and moral/narrative ambiguity to make it endlessly fascinating for me to turn over in my head.