Velvet Revolver and my plot to exterminate the men of planet earth

[rusty_halo]

I hate men. HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM.

*ahem*

*breathes*

See, I paid an obscene amount of money to get a ticket on eBay for a sold out Velvet Revolver show. And it was totally worth it, because they are awesome, and put on an amazing show.

Except I couldn't really enjoy it, because this guy behind me would not stop grabbing me, groping me, rubbing against me, drooling on me, slapping me...

So I had to decide, should I give up this awesome spot, this perfect view that I stood through an unendurably shitty opening band and 40 minutes of setup time for? Why should I have to move just because this guy is being a dick? So I stayed, but I should've just left, because it was impossible to have any fun. Every time I got into it and started jumping around, this asshole just took it as an invitation to grab me more. I ended up watching the show with my hands behind my back so that I could slap him every time he tried something. He was drunk, so he kept apologizing and then doing it again.

I AM NOT A DOLL. I AM NOT A TOY, I AM NOT A PLAYTHING, I DO NOT EXIST FOR ANYONE ELSE'S AMUSEMENT.

God, I fucking hate men.

So instead of enjoying the show, I was fantasizing about having a gigantic, superstrong, slightly psychopathic bodyguard, so that next time I go to a show, the bodyguard will protect me. And the next guy to try to molest me will get his fucking balls cut off. (That's why the bodyguard has to be slightly psychopathic.)

I KNOW how moshpits work. I've been in a million of them, and I can put up with a lot of bullshit. But there is a clear line between normal pushing/shoving and borderline sexual assault.


Anyway, um, aside from that, the show was good. It still blows my mind that Scott Weiland is playing with the remnants of Guns 'N' Roses. Never in all my childhood imaginings would I have come up with that potential supergroup, and if you told me about it, I'd have laughed my ass off. Yet it works, brilliantly. The charisma is amazing and the musical styles work together very well.

It was really cool to see Slash up close--he was right in front of me, since I was on the right side. He's such an icon, and still supercool. And to see Scott Weiland up close--he's looking really good. And healthy. And his voice is awesome. Yay.

It's funny, I never considered myself a huge Stone Temple Pilots fan, but that was my era, and that was my music, and hearing it again makes me so ridiculously happy. It's like a reminder that even though the world has moved on, the things that mattered to me still exist in some form.

So the highlight for me was, by far, "Vasoline," the STP song that they played. ("Sex Type Thing," which they played the first time I saw them, was even better, but I'm not going to argue.) I remember listening to that song as a kid--I even remember seeing them play it on the David Letterman show, taping it and watching it several times--and now it's so many years later and I get to see it live and it's wonderful. I never would've imagined. And it makes me so happy.

Except for the fucking men who have to go and ruin it.


(And YEAH I know that not all men are evil, blah blah blah, stop interrupting my rant.)

Comments

[sillylittlecuts.livejournal.com]

Ah. The same thing happened to me at a VR concert, This guy held my hips the entire time. Men just suck, but I find that if you tell them your mother/father/boyfriend are standing behind them, they tend to stop touching you. And a good elbow to the balls always works.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Man, I've been to so many shows, and never had it this bad. >:(

I felt intimidated because I was obviously alone--we'd been standing in the same places for over and hour and I wasn't talking to anyone--and we were crammed in so tight that if I did retaliate and he got mad, there'd be nowhere for me to go to escape. It felt safer to just keep the peace and try to (politely) slap his hands off of me. Even though I felt gross and it ruined the whole show. Ugh.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Fucking disgusting.

Next time I will lend you my husband. My 6'3, 275 lb. husband. Who has a bad temper.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Sounds like your husband would come in quite handy in this situation. Thanks!

[kellyhk.livejournal.com]

What the hell? When did you marry my husband?

SEriously, I hate it when guys think they can just grope and get away with it. Happened to me on a crammed bus in Rome. Little greaseball with the roamy hands got a knee to the unmentionables. And then I smiled at him.

He stopped groping then.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Hee.

I have a whole thing for large, dark, annoyed guys. Uh. I have a type?

It's fun to walk through crowds with him, for sure. It's like the parting of the Red Sea.

[elizard100.livejournal.com]

Guys are really jerks sometimes. That's one of those situations where making a little bit of a scene can go a long way. About....oh crap.....15 years ago I went to see KISS when they did a small club tour and this guy behind me kept hitting me in the head with his elbow. It didn't hurt, but it was incredibly annoying so I made a bit of a fuss and the people around me pitched in and started telling him off for me and he stopped. I didn't have to resort to physical aggression, although sounds like your guy deserved a swift kick in the...well you know.

Sorry you had to put up with that.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm not good at the whole "making a scene" thing, alas. Next time I'll just leave, because it wasn't worth putting up with.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

He'd have had my knee (or my elbow seeing as I'm short) in the balls pretty sharpish.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, but then what? We're still crammed in a mosh pit together with him right behind me... and now he's mad at me... and I have nowhere to escape to... not good. I need to learn kung fu or something. >:(

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

Wear stilettoes.
You can do some damage to the person behind you in an "I'm putting my foot down here, and if your foot happens to be underneath it, that's your fault" kind of way.It;s rid me of a lot of jerks on the dancefloor.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Haha, good plan. If only I could balance in them....

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

I've discovered that stepping firmly and enthusiastically on their instep generally has a cooling effect on their ardor. Likewise, grabbing their fingers and bending them as far backwards as possible. In a pinch, a good elbow to the nose (depending on your relative heights, of course.)

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Ah, good ideas. I wish I wasn't such a wuss. I didn't want to make a scene because I had nowhere to escape to, and no way to defend myself if he got mad. >:(

[rockgoddes.livejournal.com]

Turning and shoving him away really hard does wonders as well.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Well, in a mosh pit, it's hard enough to turn around, let alone push someone back when they've got the entire weight of the audience pushing them forward. :(

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

I sympathize; guys at concerts can be horrible.

Sounds like seeing Slash up-close was amazing, though!

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

It was pretty cool to see Slash. I'm not a huge fan, but he's an icon, so it was neat.

I was really more excited to see Scott Weiland. I used to have a full-page photo of him on my basement wall, french kissing a guy. (Come to think of it, I wonder what my parents thought of that?)

Slash was a little before my time, but Stone Temple Pilots was my time.

[aimeelicious]

I saw VR last summer...no, two summers ago? Ayii how the time flies. Anyway, it was a fantastic concert, although I was much further away from the stage than you were, sadly. So sorry about the asshat behind you. Drunk guys with groping issues need to be stomped on.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Did you see them at Jones Beach? That's where I saw them. Scott Weiland going up into the crowd, singing "Sex Type Thing," is one of my favorite concert memories. (And I had an amazing view, front and center! And my own SEAT so no one was pushing me.)

[aimeelicious]

I saw them at the Garden State Arts Center (I hate calling it PNC Bank lol) and yeah, "Sex Type Thing" was one of the best songs they performed for sure....Scott Weiland was not at all far from me when he crowd surfed, he came to the second tier of the audience which was really nice. Hot stuff =)

[aea]

Well now I want to see Velvet Revolver.

Next time a guy is doing that, you might want to make a scene, yell at him loudly to get his fucking hands off you. Might embarrass him, or get some other people looking out for you. Of course he could just be a dick and keep doing it and that's when you introduce your foot to his crotch.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just didn't want to make a scene because I was obviously alone, and if he got mad at me, I had no way to escape easily. There was a fight next to me earlier in the night, and I didn't want to get close to something like that again, especially with me as the target.... And you know how it is, dark, loud, crammed in a mosh pit, people do things they'd never do normally, because they know they can get away with it and no one will see. Add alcohol and well, it's not a good mix. >:(

[aea]

Perfect icon! Where's George McFly when you need him? I would love Crispin Glover going around to different venues and telling off the cretins.

I don't like making scenes either. I hate those pieces of shit who make you miserable at a concert.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Damn, that sucks. I wish I had a better suggestion to offer other than violence, but in that particular case, it might be the only answer. And one hopes if there was a scene, the crowd might be more likely to be on your side.

[toysdream.livejournal.com]

And YEAH I know that not all men are evil, blah blah blah, stop interrupting my rant.

Oh, I don't know, you're making a pretty good case for the evilness here. What an a-hole!

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

In similar situations in my past life, I always found screaming "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME YOU FUCKING PERVERT" in their faces usually did the trick. You'd be surprised how wussy these guys actually are. I never had any trouble after that. Actually, I had to do that to a girl at an X concert once. That was pleasant. Anyway, these dicks count on your silence and complicity, so never give them the opportunity again. Take a pointed stick, use it and when he feels the business end, say "Oh I'M SORRY. Now STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

And don't they have security at these gigs? You should never have to feel you have to put up with dick-like behavior just because someone might follow you out of the club. Go up to the bouncer/manager/whoever, demand that they call a cab for you, and wait with them until it shows up. Then beat it.