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[rusty_halo]

It's late, I'm tired, I don't have time to proofread this entry. I apologize in advance for any glaring typos, grammatical errors, etc.

Saturday I spent the night at Jane's. We had a sleepover and watched a lot of TV. She just got her XF S2 DVDs, so we watched two episodes ("3" and "Humbug"). Season 2 was when I was *really* into XF, so it was cool to see those episodes again. We also watched some Smallville, which I'm really not too fond of. (Lana needs to die. Now.) But I very much appreciated the Clark/Lex subtext. That show gets about a million times better every time Lex comes onscreen. We also watched two Highlander episodes ("Comes a Horseman" and "Revelation 6:8") I made Jane watch them, because I love Highlander and those are my favorite episodes; they're Methos-centric and so well done. I think she liked them well enough. We didn't go to sleep until 7am; then the next day we ran errands and I helped her set up this cool wireless internet thing for her laptop. I also showed her how to use her livejournal (so now she has no excuse not to post).

So, now I'm catching up with fic and posts. Updated 3 works in progess, which you'll find on the homepage (anniesj's Waking the Dead, ginmar's Tabula Obscura, and nashvillain615's Crisis Management). Yay, good fic!

Also, read the finale spoilers (sorry Jane! I couldn't resist). No comment as of yet; I think I should wait until I see it. Besides, with all the crap going on in the world, I have more important things to worry about than stressing over Buffy spoilers for the next few months. To be honest, at this point I'm in it because it's a fun hobby, because I love meeting cool people and discussing interesting topics, and because I'm fascinated by the creativity that this show has sparked in so many diverse people. But I lost interest in Spike's story after "Grave"; the soul just ruined it for me. I'm not angry or bitter anymore, I just don't find souled Spike interesting or compelling the way I did unsouled Spike. So whatever happens to him in the end, I can deal.

Also, I filled out that Buffy Survey Meme Thing (copied from rachelanton73).

1. Favourite song in "Once More, With Feeling":
Spike's song, of course. 'Cause, y'know, Spike. But Tara's song was beautiful and Giles' song was very touching.

2. Name up to three scenes that make you cry every time:
1. The end of "Becoming," from Buffy killing Angel until the credits.
2. Buffy telling Dawn about that their mom is dead in "The Body."
3. The last scene of "Beneath You."

3. Favourite original Scooby:
In the old days, I liked Willow; she reminded me of myself at a very young age. The last time I liked Willow was in "Dopplegangland," though. Now I guess I'd pick Xander, but just because of the X/S potential.

4. Supporting cast in:
a) Early seasons - Spike and Dru
b) Later seasons - Tara (does she count as supporting?), Andrew

5. Big Bads in:
a) Early seasons - Angel
b) Later seasons - Warren, but I don't think he really counts as a Big Bad, so in that case, none.

6. Plotlines in:
a) Early seasons- Angel going evil. Brilliant idea, wonderfully executed.
b) Later seasons- Spike's redemptive story in season five. The arc from FFL - Crush - Intervention - The Gift.

Episodes

7. Season One:
Lamest: Don't even remember; I never re-watch S1.
Funniest: ...
Best Overall: Prophecy Girl, but just because that's the only one I still remember well.

8. Season Two:
Lamest: Again, don't remember. I don't re-watch most of episodes that lack Spike.
Funniest: Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. I can't believe Marti Noxon wrote that episode; it was wonderful! And fun!
Best Overall: Lie to Me, Passion, Becoming 2

9. Season Three:
Lamest: Dead Man's Party
Funniest: Dopplegangland, Band Candy, Lover's Walk
Best Overall: Dopplegangland, Lover's Walk

10. Season Four:
Lamest: Every single horrific moment that Riley sucked up space on my screen.
Funniest: Something Blue, Superstar, A New Man
Best Overall: Restless, Hush

11. Season Five:
Lamest: All those boring episodes at the beginning that I can't even remember the names of.
Funniest: Real Me
Best Overall: Fool for Love

12. Season Six:
Lamest: As You Were, Doublemeat Palace, Grave, Wrecked
Funniest: Tabula Rasa
Best Overall: Once More, With Feeling, Dead Things, Afterlife

Last week I filled out that Spike survey that is here (the one that the professor of popular culture is doing for a Buffy project). So I decided to post some of my responses here.

Please keep in mind that my responses to this survey were a lot more open than I usually am when I write about Buffy stuff. I decided to be totally honest about how I feel, instead of just making arguments that I'm prepared to debate and back up with evidence and all that. This is not something I'd normally post, so please keep that in mind; don't get all offended. I figure, this is a journal, I can be as open as I want. :) Also, I don't like Buffy (the character), so if you do, you may not want to read this.

More specific moments in character development: What events or scenes in
the series stick out to you as being most significant in conveying the
essence of Spike--and conversely, what events or scenes seem to you to
misrepresent Spike?

Most significant:

- The loving and affectionate scenes in season two between Spike and Dru,
which reveal Spike's ability to love unlike any other vampire
- The scenes between Spike and Angel(us) in season two which reveal Spike's
jealousy/insecurity/admiration of Angel(us). Their relationship is
fascinatingly complex and seems to have had a large influence on Spike's
character development. And it's certainly inspired a great amount of
fanfic.
- Spike's truce with Buffy in "Becoming 2." His first step toward becoming
a "good guy," and proof that he values love over evil (a trait which
eventually led him to seek a soul).
- Spike's scenes in "Lover's Walk," particularly with Joyce, which show the
depths of his ability to feel, his desperate need for love and acceptance,
and which reveal his melodramatic, overemotional side. These scenes are
such a contrast to the tough-guy Spike of season two, yet they fit perfectly
within his established character; his misery and melodrama are the perfect
reaction of a Spike who has been dumped by Drusilla. This episode also
shows him less interested in being actively "evil" (particularly compared to
a villain such as Angelus who goes out of his way to be as "evil" as
possible) and more as simply amoral and focused on enjoying his (un)life.
- Spike's acquisition of the chip and his adjustment to it in season four
are important because, obviously, he must adjust his entire lifestyle and
because he chooses to allie himself with the Scoobies--his first real steps
on the path toward redemption, although they don't really start to bear
fruit until season five. But can you imagine chipped Angelus aligning
himself with the Scoobies? I don't think so.
- Spike's decision to put down the shotgun and to comfort Buffy instead of
killing her in "Fool for Love." AFAIC, this is the definitive Spike
redemption moment--the first time he truly feels empathy for a human being,
a moment which begins his transformion from monster to (metaphorical) man.
- The flashback scenes in FFL are also very significant in that they shed
insight into Spike's psychology and motivations, particularly his desire to
be loved and accepted, and his fascination with powerful female figures.
- Spike's scenes with Dawn and Joyce in season five which show the expansion
of his ability to empathize with and care selflessly about others. Later
this expands to even more peripherical characters (to Spike) such as Willow
and Tara (who he is kind to when Tara burns him in "Spiral"), which shows
the continuation of his transformation into a good man.
- Spike's decision to resist Glory's torture in "Intervention," which shows
that he is willing to die for the good of those he cares about. This proves
that Spike's love is largely selfless; he would have died for Buffy, knowing
that she never loved him and never would have known of his sacrifice, simply
because he loved her so much. This profound ability to choose love over
evil, and to love selflessly, is the reason that Spike is unique among
vampires--the only vampire to choose his own redemption.
- Spike's scenes in "Bargaining" and "Afterlife" where we see that he
actually managed to follow up his words with actions: he kept his promise to
protect Dawn, and he remained "good" with no hope of ever receiving Buffy's
love. These scenes show that Spike never needed a soul to be good; given
social acceptance, a place where he "fit," and someone to whom he could
direct his love and affection, Spike was able to stay heroic despite his
vampiric impulses to do evil. This is illustrated in "Bargaining 2" when
Spike is tempted to join the marauding bikers, but chooses instead to
protect Dawn. I love this scene because it shows that Spike is just like
anyone in reality: he is *tempted*, yet he chooses through his own free will
to do good instead of evil. I find this so much more interesting and
meaningful than some untarnished "good guy" who's never tempted at all.
(Ironically, the scene was written by David Fury, who *just doesn't get it*; he
almost certainly intended the opposite of my interpretation).
- Spike's near-rape of Buffy in "Seeing Red," and his horrified reaction to
his own behavior. I don't buy the apparent official explanation that Spike
realized he couldn't be good without a soul--his act in "Seeing Red" was a
totally human reaction, something that humans with souls are quite capable
of. It was also a mental breakdown which happened because he had endured
months of emotional torment and dehumanization at the hands of Buffy and her
freinds, so I don't take it as seriously as the writers apparently intended
me to. But I do think Spike's *reaction* to it is important--he realizes
that he is capable of hurting the one he loves, so he consciously chooses to
take a step that will prevent him from ever hurting a loved one ever again.
Spike's decision to seek a soul is unprecedented in the Buffyverse and
proves how unique and heroic he really is.
- Spike's scene at the end of "Beneath You," where we see the depth of the
emotional torment he is experiencing due to the soul and to Buffy's abuse of
him. This is a great scene because of how it illuminates Spike's character,
his motivations and desires. From our first glimpse of William and through
every incarnation afterward, Spike has wanted desperately to be loved and
"to fit," to be accepted. His dialogue in this scene is the perfect
illustration of that.
- Spike's remorse in various school basement scenes and in "Sleeper" and
"Never Leave Me," mainly because it should prove to the anti-Spike fans that
he really is good now. Personally I think remorse is useless and annoying
(besides, Angel's got the patent on it), but I'll concede that these are
important moments for illustrating Spike's changes.
- Spike getting his rocks back in "Get it Done" and "Lies My Parents Told
Me." Thank god, Spike decides to leave the moping and whining to Angel, and
the Spike I love returns. Finally.
- The flashbacks in LMPTM, and Spike's understanding of them. We see the
root of Spike's desperate desire for love, and he comes to terms with it.
He finally takes a major step toward escaping his love's bitch mentality
(which may seem romantic to viewers but is in no way healthy emotional
behavior--it's something he really needs to get over before he could ever
engage in a romantic relationship as an equal).

Scenes that misrepresent Spike:

- I think a lot of season four, in which Spike suddenly becomes a one
dimensional comic relief character, mispresents him in that it's overly
simplistic and reduces the complexity of his feelings and reactions. Scenes
like Spike mocking Xander and Giles in "This Year's Girl" may be funny, but
they don't make that much sense and the characterization is rather flat.
This continues in early season five (Spike's scene in "The Replacement" is
just pathetic) but trails off as Spike is portrayed with increasing
complexity.
- Almost every Spike scene in season six from "Smashed" to "As You Were."
The problem with these scenes is that we're suddenly taken out of Spike's
perspective (to which we were permitted for much of season five and early
season six). Instead, every single Spike moment is seen through Buffy's
eyes. Spike's motivations are not explained or explored; he does things
that are completely out of character, simply because the writers want to set
up a particular reaction in Buffy. Spike isn't really even a *character* in
these scenes; he's simply a plot device for Buffy's story. Buffy treats him
like a walking dildo/punching bag, because that's all the writers allow him
to be. Scenes like his attempt to keep Buffy "in the dark" with him in
"Dead Things" don't make sense--he's the one who told her in FFL that her
friends keep her alive, he's the one who was so hurt when the Scoobies
rejected him in "Afterlife," he's the one who told her to go back inside and
"finish the big group sing" in the musical. He tells her that he wants her
in the dark because the writers wanted to cast Spike as the bad guy in the
relationship. Spike the character would not have said that, or if he had,
his own emotional pain at the Scoobies' rejection would have been apparent.
And don't even get me started on the "Spike, who doesn't even have a
telephone and is despised by most of the demons in Sunnydale, is suddenly a
very stupid international arms dealer who keeps dangerous demon eggs in his
basement where they could hatch and kill him at any moment" blah blah blah
bullshit. Every scene in "As You Were" should be removed from canon, and
Doug Petrie really ought to be fired for churning out that drivel.

Fanwanking: Do you ever consciously choose to interpret the character in
ways that diverge from evidence you're getting from the show itself--for
example, by fixing or rationalizing apparent inconsistencies (to clarify, an
example here would be Spike's torture by drowning earlier this season) or by
deliberately interpreting in opposition to what the show seems to be trying
to do?

Hell yeah. I don't deny any of the events that have occured on the show,
but I certainly deny the meanings that the writers have attempted to imbue
them with. I'm not going to allow an idiot like David Fury to force my
interpretation of Spike's actions in a direction that doesn't make any sense
to me. I have two big "fanwanks" (maybe "resistant readings" is a better
phrase? certainly sounds more dignified...) in regards to Spike's story.

1. The writers seem to want me to believe that Spike couldn't be redeemed
without a soul. I hate the stupid soul storyline, and I find it has
diminished Spike's story--and my interest in his character--tremendously.
My thoughts are explained in detail here:

http://www.allaboutspike.com/why.html

The root of my argument is a basic disagreement with Mutant Enemy's attempt
to cast every character into "good" or "bad" at the end of season six. I
love that S6 explored darkness; I hate that it then proceeded to simplify
everything and destroy the potential for complexity that it had created.
In S6 we saw that no one is simply good or evil. Buffy the "hero" viciously
abuses her lover and ignores her sister; Willow the "hero" murders two men
and tries to destroy the world; Xander the "hero" mistreats his fiance then
abandons her at the altar. We see the darkness in these "light" characters
and realize that they are not "light" at all; it's all a matter of gray
areas.

Conversely, we see demons like kind, unassuming, polite, empathetic Clem, or
the demons at Xander's wedding (who were much better-behaved than the
humans!) and we realize that these previously "dark" figures are not always
so dark at all; again, it's a matter of gray areas.

We also see the evil that humans with souls are capable of; Warren's murder
of Tara and Katrina, and the way that Jonathan and Andrew went along with
him, show that a "soul" is *not* the defining aspect of goodness that our
heroes thought it was.

So we are presented with all of these gray areas, which are much more
realistic than the good/evil dichotomy that most Western mythology portrays.
And nothing embodies them better than Spike, a figure who exists firmly in
the gray: as a soulless vampire, he has difficulty caring about others, he's
drawn to evil, he wants to destroy. Yet he loves passionately and purely,
he shows more empathy than the heroes, and he manages to choose, of his own
free will, to go against his nature and do good. (He didn't have to protect
Dawn and the Scoobies all summer; the chip sure as hell wasn't *making* him
do that).

In "Smashed" Buffy articulates Spike's position: "Can't be a human; can't be
a vampire; where the hell do you fit in?" (Well, he fits in with everyone
else of course; they all dwell in the gray areas, despite Buffy's delusion
that she is in the light). In "Seeing Red" Spike understands his position:
he can't be a monster, and he can't be a man. He understands that he exists
in the gray, not firmly in the light or the dark (which is *exactly* where
Willow, Buffy, Xander, and everyone else exists, except *sarcasm* maybe
perfect Riley and his Mary Sue wife). Yet instead of accepting and
acknowledging that he's in the gray, that they're all in the gray, Spike
concludes that he is NOTHING because he isn't on either side. He seeks the
soul so that he can be firmly in the light, yet we've seen again and again
that Spike has the ability to do good without a soul, and that the soul
doesn't really mean shit (just ask Warren or Dark Willow). We get the same
simplification of Buffy's story: she walks out of the grave into the
cemetery (which has suddenly transformed into an arboreum!) and stands in
the bright sunlight and she's happy again. She's back in the light! Except
she didn't earn it; she never dealt with the abusive and selfish tendencies
that put her in the gray in the first place. And we've seen in season seven
that she continues to be greatly flawed. So putting Buffy back in the light
is an articifical construct of a dichotomy between light and dark, good and
evil, that doesn't really exist. Same with Spike's soul.

2. The writers seem to want me to think that Spike abused Buffy, and that
she was his helpless little victim. Bullshit. Buffy initiated sexual
conduct (and in "Smashed" and "Gone," she did it without asking his
permission or expressly against his permission). She treated him as an
object; she used and abused him. If Buffy had been a man and Spike had been
a woman, Buffy would *never* have gotten away with the horrifying way that
she treated Spike in season six. Yet the writers try to force them back
into traditional gender roles in the almost-rape scene in "Seeing Red." I
can buy this behavior from Spike, but the staging and results make no sense.
Spike has been viciously abused; he finally breaks down. His attack on
Buffy is inadvertent, and he is overwhelmed with guilt. Okay, I get that.
But Buffy as the helpless, screaming little victim? Oh, give me a break.
She could--and has--kicked his ass a million times. Her "injury" was so
contrived and stupid I don't even know where to begin.

The attempted rape is brought up over and over in season seven (early in the
season, fans joked about the "weekly attempted rape reminders"). So, where
are our weekly "Dead Things" beating reminders? Why is Spike's *one*
transgression toward Buffy such a big deal, but her *months* of *repeated,
horribly cruel, dehumanizing abuse* are only mentioned twice ever again?
("Beneath You," "Conversations with Dead People"-- in "Beneath You" Spike
mentions it inadvertently in his "service the girl" comments, which is not
acknowledged or heard by anyone but Buffy, and in "CwDP" Buffy qualifies it
with some stupid comment about Spike's love being "sick," and only tells a
vampire who she later kills).

In "First Date" and "Lies My Parents Told Me," Buffy justifies her
relationship with Spike by insisting on how much *he* has changed. Well,
big fucking deal. Spike was a good guy in season FIVE; he's not the one who
needed to change. Buffy is the vicious, conniving little emotional and
physical abuser; SHE is the one who needs to change, not Spike. A
relationship between Spike and Buffy now would be terribly unhealthy, and
its unhealthiness never had anything to do with Spike--it has to do with the
fact that Buffy is a self-obsessed abuser who uses other people without any
regard for their feelings.

How you manage different Spikes: How do you reconcile all of the
information about Spike: do you experience "different Spikes" depending upon
the context? do they intermingle or combine in a general way? do you pick
and choose characteristics from different versions of Spike? does one
version tend to override other versions?

I think Spike is a wonderfully constructed character in that, through all
his incarnations, his essential personality remains, and all changes he
undergoes make sense within that framework. I certainly think that the
Spike of each season is a different Spike--chipped season four Spike is far
from confident, powerful season two Spike or insane, emotionally broken
season seven Spike. But in each case I think his character growth makes
sense; he's always "Spike" (even flashback William is essentially Spike--he
has the same root personality, ability to love, and desire for acceptance).
And this ties into Giles' comments in season seven that no matter how we
seem to change, we all are who we are.

As far as whether one version of Spike overrides the others--my favorite
version of Spike is late season five, struggling to do good without a soul
Spike. The Spike in my head is always somewhere between "Intervention" and
"Afterlife," because that's the version of Spike that I find most
compelling, interesting, and attractive.